[This message edited by Issaquah at 4:50 PM, July 29th (Monday)]
[This message edited by TrulySad at 5:45 PM, July 29th (Monday)]
I was taking her out for dates a few times a week at this point because something was wrong between the two of us and I had no fucking idea what it was. On this particular date, she wore an extremely revealing dress. We had been together for a little over ten years at that point and she had NEVER worn anything like that out in public. It made me feel really uncomfortable but I didn't feel like it was my place to tell her how to dress so away we went.
She was really fidgety at the restaurant and I was uncomfortable with the amount of my wife that the rest of the patrons could see. Still, the conversation seemed good and everything seemed to go pretty smoothly. I was really surprised when we were done eating and she looked at me and said "can you take me home now" with an angry look on her face.
After Dday, I found out that her new dad liked to hang out at this place. Apparently they had just started talking and decided that they had a special, unique, unicorns shitting giant piles of glitter sort of connection and she was hoping to see him there. He wasn't, she was disappointed and she treated me like shit for the rest of the day. Should have been a dead giveaway. I had no. fucking. idea. Oh well.
It's been a year to the day since Dday and I've been stewing on it all day. Reading this thread was helpful and posting on it was really cathartic. I need a reminder every once in a while of the fact that the person I married and divorced was a cruel, disordered asshole and I'm better off without her.
[This message edited by h0peless at 6:05 PM, July 29th (Monday)]
Worrying about his precarious health enough to accept that, the night prior to an early speaking engagement in the city he worked in---you know, the nearby city to which he communed daily for years---he really needed to stay in a hotel. Because, after all, his illness made it too hard for him to get moving quickly, so early in the morning. (His OW flew in for a reunion several days early, and spent the night with him.)
Then, there was the dozen or so years when he was too sick for sex --- of any form. Unlike other disabled husbands, he never was interested in me or my needs---he just "couldn't" have sex. (He would argue now that, having once mentioned a morning erection, he rescinded his ban on sex---but that failed to make an impression on me and, at any rate, he never acted on any sexual impulse with me, other than to blame me for the lack of sex in our marriage; really, he is disabled, but mostly he didn't want it. With me.) His "illness" was really quite different. Yes, he has serious heart disease; it presents challenges. He found it easier to meet those challenges with strangers or near-strangers; since he can't take Viagra, danger was the next best thing. (I still kind of wish he'd died on top of one of them....and still do not rule out the possibility because his penchant for stranger danger persists. But having my sex life unceremoniously ended on false pretenses at age 38 can make a woman kind of bitchy.)
Oh, I could go on....but I win Sucker of the Double Decades, hands-down.
[This message edited by solus sto at 6:44 PM, July 29th (Monday)]
Not only did she F$$$ the OM on my birthday, she had the audacity to get his spunk all over me. To this day, she denies it ever happened. Seriously??!!!! what kind of sick b@@@# does something like that?
DDay #1 October 3, 2012
DDay #2 January 19, 2013
DDay #3 March 17, 2013
Still hoping to salvage the marriage but thinking that I am just a complete idiotic hopeless romantic that believes "love" will win out in the end.
I used to love Christmas. The following Christmas, I made the whole family spend the day flying across the country so to spent the holiday in Williamsburg VA, where they do all the decorating, because I couldn't stand the thought of putting up a tree and cooking another Christmas dinner.
The next Christmas, I spent a lot on new decorations and on presents for the kids, trying to take Christmas back and make a good Christmas for the kids.
I still feel like kicking WH when I think about Christmas. It's been a hard couple of years. Him getting sober hasn't changed the fact that he will never tell the truth about the past.
Love is a Verb.