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User Topic: wont give password to work account
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH is military so I cant see whats on his work computer. He did the EA that way and I happen to go to his office one day and his mail was open and it was there. I didn't get the whole story at that time but if he were to do it again I wouldn't know.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Texas
FeelingSoMuch
♂ Member
Member # 38814
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smokescreen. No doubt about it.

My WW acted the same way before true NC. She made sure to clean things up before we looked at her account together.

Her company changed servers and old emails popped up. She wasn't expecting that. Neither was I. I read them. Even though by that time I already knew she had cheated, they crushed me.

Most companies archive work emails on the server even after they've been deleted. Mine does it for seven years. Ask to see that.

Stay strong.


Me: BH
Her: WW
Together since 2001, married since 2007.
D-day: Feb. 20, 2013.
Broke NC: 2 phone calls since
Today: In MC and IC, attempting R.
It got easier: They no longer work together.

Posts: 508 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
hitbyatruck
♀ Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he is more afraid of what might pop up. I highly doubt IF he is doing anything wrong he would use that email.

He can't control what someone else sends him. If you have the PW you can check it whenever you want. He has more control if you can only check it by him doing the actual login.


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3279 | Registered: Apr 2009
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He had an A...he really does not have much integrity. Given that, I seriously doubt that he has much concern for the corporate confidentiality agreement. Sounds more like he is hiding something.

Like so many others, my WH used his company blackberry and work computer to carry on his A. Naturally he was unwilling to freely hand over the phone. He would open it, quickly delete msg, and hand it to me. I didn't have a clue.

Seriously, he is not handing the PW to strangers off the street He is allowing his BW the transparency she needs to heal.

Really, don;t buy into his bullshit.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2094 | Registered: Nov 2011
AussieMum
♀ Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should be his priority, not his confidentiality agreement with work.

My STBXH conducted his As using his work phone and laptop - he'd never let me near either of them.

I agree with others that he would be showing you only the content he wants you to see. Anything else would most likely have been deleted well in advance.


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
DecadeCentrifuge
♂ New Member
Member # 39406
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It might be smoke, it might not. In my workplace, outside IPs are tracked when they access mail, and giving out passwords would be grounds for termination. I can access it at home, but it would be very suspicious if I was at work and there was a remote with my home IP connected at the same time.

He could very well lose his job over this, regardless of if he's bullshitting you or not. I guess the question is if you're zen with that. I think I would be, but I'm rather vindictive at the moment.

If you're dependent on his income, I'd recommend trying to find a compromise. Maybe he could work something out with his supervisor?


Me: BH - Happily Remarried, but dealing with old stuff

I'm losing my mind in a bedroom with a ghost
and I'm losing my mind in a bottle while I choke
I stayed years with you, no one knows (but I want them to).
Thought Industry


Posts: 44 | Registered: May 2013
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 2:26 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XWH conducted his affair mostly via work phone and email.

He did not give me the p/w's for same reason - sensitive 'real info'. But even if he had, once I asked for those; even if he decided to breach work policy, he was smart enough to delete that shit before coming home anyway.

I do recall while on 'family vacation', he'd let the kids play on his work laptop. He said he'd take the kids to the beach; I claimed sour belly. He was totally NOT transparent. I went through 'their emails'. They were so jr high. Then I got the idea to forward to myself. I sent like all, but for some reason - they didn't 'go' (wireless wasn't as good back then I guess). I do think one went to some client broad and he was so mad. Oops! It was him telling OW they'd touch base and her responding how much she hearted 'touching his base'. I think I will say that to her if we ever speak, "Do you still heart touching his base?"



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Topic Posts: 27
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