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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Silver anniversary
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today would have been my 25th anniversary with ex-asshat. 25 years... that blows my mind. Am I old enough to have a silver anniversary?

It's just so strange. I was with him five times longer than I've been without him and I can barely remember even being married to him. How does someone who once meant everything become a perfect stranger? (I know, that's a question that gets asked around here all the time...)

And even though I have no interest in remarrying at this point in my life, I may want to someday and it kind of makes me sad that unless I live a really long time, I'll never get to have that silver anniversary with some nice guy. You know?

I'm happy to say that outside of the crap he deals the bunch, the bunch and I are completely happy and settled. It's a good place to be and I have never once regretted leaving him. Life is pretty darn good on the other side of the insanity.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15280 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bittersweet, isn't it?

We must be on the same timetable - would have been 24 for me in August.

You're as strong as they come, Nanners. Toast yourself!

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21011 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You got married when you were 4 years old?


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My D was final just 2 weeks shy of what would have been my 24 wedding anniversary. It's been 8 years now and I don't even remember my anniversary date until it's already passed.

With my current SO, we have been together 3 years now. He is 65 years old. I have a new philosophy - "it's not the quantity of time spent together, but the quality in the time we spend together."

We have had 3 really great years - I've packed more fun/love/laughter/experiences into these last 3 years than I did in the last 10 years of my marriage. Just taking each day as it comes and appreciating it.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7557 | Registered: Aug 2005
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're partially to blame for that, ajsmom... I'm here in part to your 2X4s. And every one of them was appreciated.

j... ha ha ha. I was actually 20. But thank you.

And NL, that's a really nice way of looking at it. I'm glad you found someone you're so happy with.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 2:00 PM, July 30th (Tuesday)]


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15280 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll never get to have that silver anniversary with some nice guy. You know?
I'm the same way. We were married 26 yrs on paper but he didn't deserve any of it. To think there might be someone in the future that truely deserves the longevity is sad it is probably too late for me.

I hope to someday to have that quality in a relationship as NL and her SO have found. It would be a wonderful way to spend my golden years.

Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have that same weird disconnect-- 17 years with him, and he's been relegated to the back of my mind like an old boyfriend I only dated for a few months. Did it really mean that little, or is that a coping mechanism? I don't know.

My parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next week. It saddens me to know that I will never share a milestone like that with anyone unless I find someone soon (unlikely) and live a really long time (hopefully!).

But, I'd rather not meet someone for a while and spend a few great years with him than still be with my XWH and celebrate a milestone with him, that's for sure!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3403 | Registered: Oct 2011
Lisa2You
♀ New Member
Member # 39764
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I can so relate. I was happily married for 12 years...and unhappily married for 18 years. We just "celebrated" our 30th anniversary. He went fishing with friends. I stayed home and took care of our very pregnant daughter. That was a few weeks ago. We are finally divorcing. I got married at 19, and was married for 30 years! Gawd! I've been married for 2/3 of my life.

I can't imagine ever marrying again. But who knows. Right now, I'm just putting one foot in front of the other - that's all I can do.

Maybe we need to not think about the years we threw away, but the years we have left. I'm going for quality for the rest of mine. The quantity doesn't really matter. Best, Lisa


He had a long-term affair. I found out 5-years after. We're divorcing after 30 years of marriage (10 of them happy ones). I'm just trying to find my way.

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2013
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy to say that outside of the crap he deals the bunch, the bunch and I are completely happy and settled. It's a good place to be and I have never once regretted leaving him. Life is pretty darn good on the other side of the insanity

Cheers!


Me: 41
Two boys: 16 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25502 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Topic Posts: 9

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