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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Poll: beyond child support and medical?
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm finding the diversity of our answers interesting. I am still in the process of divorce and stbx pays child support and that's it. He used to pay for half of uncovered medical but he stopped a couple months ago. He hasn't paid for anything extra. I'm going ask in our divorce decree that he pay half of uncovered medical and half of tuition but I know he probably won't. I just want it on paper.

Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our divorce papers say he pays for health ins and 75% of medical AFTER I pay the first 250. I really wish I had requested to get reimbursed on the activities.

Funny note: XWH had OW spend nite-- not allowed in SC. I sent blazing email. He cries a river about how mean I am to do this to him,,, not let his children spend night with him.
He pouts that he will be bringing them home every night at 9pm....

Stay with me here,,,,,

The next day I email him asking him to pay for son't class ring,,,as i am paying band fees. He of coarse responds that that is what child support is for.

I responded,,, child support in SC is based on 109 over nights a year (attached link). You may work with me on activites for our children, or I'll take you back to court and get the extra 150/mo I'm entitled to to keep the standard of living up for our children...

He ordered the class ring today. YES!

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 1:17 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2215 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to threaten court too. See, x likes to look like the hero, so he complains only to me about paying his half of the ortho bill and refuses to pay until the insurance reimburses me, but makes sure EVERYONE knows how he spent $300 on a water slide for dd's birthday party. Because people at the party couldn't see him be responsible dad who pays bills, they would only notice him providing a fun filled birthday!

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope-- same here. He pays me the state-mandated minimum based on his salary for three kids, and as of this fall, he will pay 50% of OOP medical costs (it was 75% before that). I'm the same person who shares custody of a car seat with him (not joking-- DS #1 has to remember to take his out of the car when he's on visitation) because he won't buy one since he feels that should come out of child support. He's never given me one extra penny toward anything, and I know not to ask.

BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ Member
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow - thank you so much for all the answers. It's amazing how varied the answers are, depending on the individual and the state. I moved from RI to TX just a few years before my divorce, and I have been told by many people that if my situation had occurred in RI, my divorce would look very different (in my favor).

I suppose I'm just surrounded by "good" ex husbands (my girlfriends whose exes pay CS, medical AND help with other stuff). After reading these responses, I guess I should be grateful he has a good job so I get the CS that I do!

Thanks again, and I'm so sorry for those of you who don't receive the support you are legally entitled to!

Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Jun 2010
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex and I have it in out plan that he is 50% responsible for EVERYTHING in addition to child support. I have our daughter on my insurance, and he has to pay 50% of what is taken out of my check every month. If I take her to the doctor and have to pay anything out of pocket (Rx, copays, etc...), he has to pay for 50% of that. He has to pay 50% of all educational expenses, extracirricular activities, co-cirricular activities (ie. field trips, band camp)...and essentially anything else that's not clothing for her at my house or my personal family vacation for her.

He also was only allowed to claim her for taxes for the first 2 years, and had to split his entire tax return with me. I claim her now, and get to every year from here on out, and I don't have to give him a dime of my tax return.

Additionally, I have sole decision making. Meaning I can sign her up for the most expensive private school with a million dollar tuition in the country...and he can't say a damn word about it. I don't even have to ask him- just notify him of where she is going to school and give him a reciept.

He also has visitation limitations based on the court finding him to have a drinking problem- but visitation is seperate so that's neither here nor there.

He complains sometimes- and I remind him that it was his choice to physically abuse me, his choice to continue drinking, and his choice to use drugs. Asshat.

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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