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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He spoke ...
livebythesea
♀ Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday was much better than Monday, but today was super! And I pray that I have more days like today than this past Monday. Not sure what took place but something clicked. I did not say a word to him, yesterday he approached me. Just a few words, and then I left. Today, same thing, he approached me, and I went about my day. Had a great day at that.

I will ride this out, get stronger and when I am ready, when I know in my heart the time is right, I will know what to do.

I have to keep "good thoughts" in my mind, think less of HIM, of what he did and think more of my life, my future.

Thanks to everyone with their honest, experienced opinions. How I wish there weren't so many of us here with broken hearts and wasted time, wasted life.


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (he made that one up)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 8 2013
DD4 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 191 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What did he say?


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3264 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
livebythesea
♀ Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, at 12:06 (night time) while he was sleeping peacefully and I was just about out of my mind, I sent him a text telling him I was moving out in the morning. I had packed all my clothes in the car and I was moving out.

Around 4 o'clock in the afternoon (next day) on my way out, he asked me where I was going, and then wanted to clarify my text. I told him then that I was not moving, and that he would have to if that is what he wanted to do. That was the extend of our conversation that day. Today, he said good morning, I replied. He asked how I was, and that is that for today. Oh ya, for the pat 2 days he was sleeping in the spare bedroom, tonight he is sleeping in his bed (our bed). He is sleeping now. He is scared shitless that I tell him it is over. I have been too forgiving, too loving, just too much of everything too quick. It is suddenly clicking in today.


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (he made that one up)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 8 2013
DD4 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 191 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
doesitgetbetter
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Soooo, it's a great day because you rolled over and went back on your demand for the second time this week and he's now sleeping soundly in your bed and not dealing with any more unpleasantness. Awesome. So what makes you think anything will change when you keep flip flopping on your demands to him and nothing ever gets resolved? And how exactly is this better?


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been following your posts because you & I have been married about the same length of time. I just had to tell you I'm so proud of you for opening your eyes to the power you actually hold in this relationship! The pendulum is swinging in the opposite direction & YOU have the momentum! You finally get that he has mistaken your kindness for weakness & has used that to manipulate you all in the name of saving your marriage. The time has come to say enough! You are getting stronger! I don't know you but, I see the strength building in you! Stop letting this man make you crazy & take control! He won't see it coming!


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 710 | Registered: Apr 2013
livebythesea
♀ Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's better cause I feel stronger, I am smiling today, and my mind is clearer. I truly appreciate your opinion, and you are right. I could not move out. I just could not, I did tell him to move out though. I knew he would not. It is a merry go round, and someday it will stop. I just cannot keep on like this. But my time is not here yet, I am not ready to leave, nor is he. Time will unfold our lives ...


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (he made that one up)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 8 2013
DD4 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 191 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XH moved out 1 day after I found out but he never filed for divorce. I spent 2 years in limbo until I was strong enough to set myself free. Sending lots of strength and peace


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3264 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
k9lover1
♀ Member
Member # 8531
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We all have to move at the pace that is comfortable for us. I truly believe that you will know when the time comes. Just don't settle. Always move towards a better life.


D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late.

Posts: 8092 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: Wisconsin
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know some of your story but not all of it. I am not sure what has been going on recently.

Is he NC with OW?

I don't have much advice and I am no expert at all of this yet, but I do need to say this, don't tell him you're going to do something unless you are absolutely going to do it.

Hugs to you. I hope you have many more wonderful days!


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 9

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