Take some deep breaths, and come at this process by taking baby steps. Just a little bit at a time. Sometimes its easy to get caught up in the momentum of the good times, and jump forward too fast, only to slam into a brick wall when the bad ones hit. Don't get discouraged though. Just take some time to reset, and refocus. Remember, this healing process is all about you becoming a stronger, healthier person.
There are going to be many times when you feel like your backsliding, this is normal. The key is to allow yourself to feel, but not to let those feelings consume you or control you. You're in the driver's seat.
ANd I know Im not suppose to feel bad Im suppose to take care and support my BH
You can still feel AND support your BH, just don't lose sight of the fact that you can't heal him. That's something only he can do. Aubrie just posted about this. I know you've read it, but it's a great post and very helpful in gaining perspective on this. Give it another read.
So start focusing on your own feelings, and your own healing. After all, as another member here has as their tagline "you can't heal what you don't feel"
(edited to fix typos)
[This message edited by cinnamongurl at 6:39 AM, August 1st (Thursday)]
Keep at it, and hang in there. There will be brighter days in the future.
Re timeline for healing... Why is that important? Would you work more or less if you knew you'd be fine in 5 months? 5 years? You should be working on a healthier you without regard to time. Or to whether your BS will be with you. It should be just for you.
[This message edited by UnexpectedSong at 5:28 PM, August 2nd (Friday)]