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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Confrontation
♂ New Member
Member # 39848
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once more, thanks to everyone. But the urge to handle this physically is so overwhelming. The OM deserve it so badly, the WW also. I believe this will give me some sort of closure to part of my feelings.

Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure it is overwhelming. I'm also sure in some small weird way you'll feel some sort of gratification in knowing that you inflected a fair amount of pain on a worthless POS who isn't worth the skin he's wrapped in. I'm also sure that if you do decide to go through with the thought of pummeling his sorry ass from one end of the country to the next you'll be visiting your children from behind bars.

Now, the big question is, is that how you want to spend your energy and your time with your children?

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, you must first dig two graves." ~ Chinese Proverb

Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Welcome to the place no one ever wants to get to

Please do not take your anger out on either the om or your w. It truly will only make things worse for you. Honestly, you cannot inflict on them the pain they have inflicted on you. And that is that.

Get a punching bag, break some dishes (without the kids around), go for a workout. There are ways to release that anger and release it is what you must do. just in a manner that doesnt cause you more pain and chaos.

We have all felt your pain and understand it well. I'm ashamed to admit how much stuff i destroyed in the early days.

I also fantasized about beating the ow (who hasnt?) but you know what? Even thinking of what i wanted to do to her is frightening and shameful. That is not the kind of person i am and i refuse to let others make me into that person.

Keep your head up and your eyes open. Come here to post and read. We'll help you through this.


Posts: 617 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Things I did to expressmy anger at my fWH's betrayal include. I controlled my urge to confront by channeling anger. AP deserves no attention from BS as they are nothing.

Cutting a few of his shirts which I gave him and he wore with OW

Got rid of bed couch and sheets-they were burnt safely outside by my fWH while I watched

Threw glasses she drank out of in trash to break them

Flipped over bookcase where OW sat in my living room

I also wrote on my fridge with dry erase markers my thoughts or drew pics-no kids in house (comes off with windex); some angry some positive

Drew satirical and funny pics and left in bathroom for my fWH of things I imagined they did (mostly we laughed at these)

Went to his home office and flipped drawers upside down making mess; he got the 30 year old condoms from desk

[This message edited by whattheh at 4:32 PM, August 2nd (Friday)]

BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 569 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♂ New Member
Member # 39848
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just contacted other BS yesterday, she was in disbelief. Sent her information regarding the A. As mentioned before my WW does not answer questions regarding the A and thinks she is above counseling. She has some serious NPD. Wondering what is going on with the OP and his BS.

Posts: 6 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get ready. The OM is probably going to get in touch with you WW and raise hell and/or toss her under the bus and tell her that he want's nothing to do with her. At which point she is likely to come raging to you and raise hell about you 1) betraying her, 2) ruining the OMs marriage, 3) invading her privacy, and 4) being a general all-around meanie-o.

Be calm, don't allow her to drama-lama you into her hysteria, and ask her what she expected the consequences to be when she decided to flop on her back and spread her legs like a ho in the gutter. Yes, there are nicer ways to put it, however being as she is taking no responsibility nor showing any remorse, I see no reason not to call a spade a spade as it were.

Be strong!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 26
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