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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I've been such a fool.. but no longer
CuckoldedinMa
♂ Member
Member # 38283
Angry  Posted: 9:36 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello friends,

I know it's been quite some time since you last heard from me.

Where I left off was after D-Day#2, when I found the email to OM regarding the movie "Secretary". You know, the movie in which two co-workers develop and intense psycho-sexual relationship?

So, long story short, like an idiot, I let her talk me back into yet another attempt at R.

Weeks of therapy in which we seemed to be making little fits and starts of progress.

Of course, it was still all lies.

So, I've basically set up every computer she's had for the last 20 years, and I know all of her passwords. She, idiotically, has never changed them. So I looked at her email, and saw a reservation for a hotel room. For the NEXT DAY. Then I found another one from two weeks prior. Checking back through my text messages for that day two weeks prior, I found the line of BS about "working late, crisis, blah blah blah, lie lie lie".

So I waited for the inevitable lying text message to come the next day. Sure enough, it did.

I got a friend to drive me to the hotel... and I left a note on the dashboard of her car:

Turn around and march your ass back to the reception desk, to extend your stay. Indefinitely.

Don’t bother showing up to therapy tomorrow either… or ever.

Glad I could help in zipping up your dress this morning so that motherfucker could unzip it.

She called me as we were on our way home. I of course did not pick up. She had the gall to claim that it WASN'T OM she was with. It was an ESCORT.

She has no idea I know about two weeks prior, not do I have any indication of telling her that I know. She of course continues to protect OM from further exposure to his BS. I have no interest in doing so, but she doesn't need to know that.

So much has happened in the last week and a half, my head is spinning. One thing is 1000% clear, however. I want OUT, ASAP. She has thus far agreed to file jointly for D... we'll see if she remains cooperative.

She had the gall to not only come home the night of D-Day #3 and want to "talk" (as if I have a single word left to say to her), but she even showed up to therapy the next day!!!! I was furious.

the GOOD news... my immediate manager is on board with my plan to move to Hawaii. If I can convince my director, it's a done deal! I'm moving out of our apartment next month, and already have a temporary place lined up.

Now if I can just get the lawyer I met with back in May to call me back, we can get this show on the road!!

I need her out of my life NOW.

[This message edited by CuckoldedinMa at 9:38 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]


D-Day, 1/27/13
D-Day #2 4/21/13
D-Day #3 7/22/13
Me: BS (41)
Her :WS (43)
Married 13 years, together 21.
STATUS: Separated, divorcing

Posts: 162 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Boston, MA area
bluewater
♂ Member
Member # 9297
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi CinMa,

I remember you and your terrible tale. I have no words of advice or wisdom that will sooth your pain. What I will say is this...

It is time you dumped her habitually cheating ass and moved on with your life.

Oh and thank God you didn't get her pregnant when you were trying,


Posts: 489 | Registered: Jan 2006
ceilingwalker
♂ Member
Member # 39948
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad I could help in zipping up your dress this morning so that motherfucker could unzip it.

I know, right? I think of all the Victoria Secret thousands of dollars I foolishly spent on her so she can look good for her boyfriend! Then to each time she was going to a "baby shower" looking like she was going to walk the streets she would ask "how do I look" and I would always tell her, "you are breath-taken beautiful my love". WTF


My handle is a name my grandpa gave me (ceilingwalker) because he used to tell me I drive him up the wall. LOL

Posts: 57 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Phoenix
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((CIM))) So sorry about the false R. It sounds like you've got a good plan and I'm glad you're getting back on track for yourself and I wish you the best in your healing.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9750 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was a pretty awesome note, dude.


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It wasn't OM, it was an escort?
Is that fact supposed to make it okay???? (well in her twisty mind, I suppose that the answer is yes)....

Hawaii rocks, CiM. Leave your WW's cheating ass on the mainland and you go and 'hang ten' in the islands.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8081 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
CuckoldedinMa
♂ Member
Member # 38283
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bluewater: OH yes. It's a done deal. I just need to somehow make it through this month without completely losing my cool. And, yes, this would have been much more complicated had we been successful. It's hard to find a silver lining in all of this, but I suppose that's one.

Ceilingwalker: amen, man. Amen. I only wish I had seen the expression on her face when she found that note in the steering wheel. I wish I had had enough to to include D papers in the bundle.

Crushed: thanks, I feel pretty positive about the next chapter in my life. I'm just eager to get it started! And get AWAY from this woman I no longer even recognize after giving her literally half my life.

Phantom: thanks, I spent some time on it. I wish I could show you the font I chose. It's called "cracked"!


D-Day, 1/27/13
D-Day #2 4/21/13
D-Day #3 7/22/13
Me: BS (41)
Her :WS (43)
Married 13 years, together 21.
STATUS: Separated, divorcing

Posts: 162 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Boston, MA area
CuckoldedinMa
♂ Member
Member # 38283
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

gonnabe: I don't buy her story for a nanosecond. She's just trying to protect him once again, since I ruined OM's Superbowl Sunday. When I blew it all up and contacted most of his and BW's family.

Even If if she is telling the truth about that... exactly, it's irrelevant. One truth In a mountain of lies.


D-Day, 1/27/13
D-Day #2 4/21/13
D-Day #3 7/22/13
Me: BS (41)
Her :WS (43)
Married 13 years, together 21.
STATUS: Separated, divorcing

Posts: 162 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Boston, MA area
nuance
♂ Member
Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have no interest in further exposing the OM to his BS? Why?


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1216 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
CuckoldedinMa
♂ Member
Member # 38283
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nuance: I got through to her already (at least I think so) back in Feb, and she made it very clear that she was content to keep her head buried in the sand.

Also, when it comes down to it, I don't have any actual proof it WAS the same AP... Although I'd say it's highly likely.

[This message edited by CuckoldedinMa at 12:29 AM, August 2nd (Friday)]


D-Day, 1/27/13
D-Day #2 4/21/13
D-Day #3 7/22/13
Me: BS (41)
Her :WS (43)
Married 13 years, together 21.
STATUS: Separated, divorcing

Posts: 162 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Boston, MA area
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Point is.....OM/escort/<donkey>/<whoever>. She is not behaving in the way that a wife should. (I know that you know that)

You have agreed to a joint D. You want OUT? Then be done.

No more unnecessary contact.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8081 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love your note! That is probably one of the here yet.

Sounds like your exit strategy is in place minus the director's approval. Does the WS know yet?


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
CuckoldedinMa
♂ Member
Member # 38283
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not yet. I've been keeping that under wraps until it's a done deal. I think she suspects, though. She's asked a couple of times if I plan on moving out of state.


D-Day, 1/27/13
D-Day #2 4/21/13
D-Day #3 7/22/13
Me: BS (41)
Her :WS (43)
Married 13 years, together 21.
STATUS: Separated, divorcing

Posts: 162 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Boston, MA area
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:48 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Man can I relate. For me the lies and manipulation is what really sealed the deal. When I found out that NC was broken I was alone at home while she was away with the kids visiting family. I also wrote a letter and along with the evidence I found taped it to the refrigerator door. While the contact was not physical it was contact none the less. Her excuses were wild as well. Everything from someone planting e-mails in her account (Keylogger picked up the evidence) to her saying that he contacted her for closure. I finally told her to fuck off and stop insulting me with continued lies. There comes a point where you have to say enough is enough. Escort my ass. She would not be the first dumb ass WW to fall on the sword to protect the OM.

Be prepared for the fallout that's soon to come. For some reason after they cant lie anymore about the A. They get angry and turn that anger on the BS. Especially if your no longer willing to play their game. Just get your ducks lined up, prepare for battle and protect yourself as best you can. Its most likely gonna get worse before it gets better. Just hang in there and hold your ground.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5730 | Registered: Nov 2007
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They get angry and turn that anger on the BS. Especially if your no longer willing to play their game.

Someone here said the one in control is the one who just doesn't care anymore. You can't fix what's too broken.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
realitybites
♀ Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you! That must have felt so empowering to take the lead for once. Unbelievable that she still had the gall to come back to the house and go to the T app't. She felt she had control of you and the OM and that house of cards is now imploding. I am sure she stayed with him to try to work out some kind of story before coming back home....and then he probably went running back home to do damage control on his end.

But now YOU took yourself out of the equation. Off the hampster wheel. As sad as it all is you must be feeling like a lead weight is lifted off your shoulders.

Keep strong.


Posts: 5674 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember you my man...

Great note!

Here's to your new beginning... You will be amazed at how liberating it is to live a life free of the craziness...

Your STBex is a piece of work...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5982 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am glad you are moving on. It is hard enough to reconcile with a truly remorseful but the situation you find yourself in is really impossible.

We here will all be hoping that you find a new life and a new love in Hawaii. Someone who deserves your love. Take care and check in now and again.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1319 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Shockleader
♂ Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go friend!!! I know well of what you speak, and guess what... life is fucking fantastic when you loose the lying, cheating POS wife!!!

I spent 1/2 my life with mine too, and funny how it all seems almost like a distant memory... Especially if/when someone new comes into your life when you are ready... Dang, it's good to be off the bus!


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 652 | Registered: Sep 2012
CuckoldedinMa
♂ Member
Member # 38283
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Update:

I had the meeting with my Director, and it sounds like he's on board with my plan!!

Hawaii here I come!


D-Day, 1/27/13
D-Day #2 4/21/13
D-Day #3 7/22/13
Me: BS (41)
Her :WS (43)
Married 13 years, together 21.
STATUS: Separated, divorcing

Posts: 162 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Boston, MA area
Topic Posts: 21
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