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User Topic: Not what I expected...malignant
Lighthouse Heart
♀ Member
Member # 8899
Sad  Posted: 10:40 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I recently made a reapperance in JFO (new now ex S/O not old exWH...just to clarify)have lurked since my first go round here... I don't know how to deal with this...so here I am seeking collective SI wisdom.

I had a growth removed from the small of my back last week. My Doctor was sure it was nothing to be worried about. She took a good margin and went to 1.5 mm. 8 stitches to close me up.

Today I got the call, I wasn't expecting results until I went for the stitches out next Wednesday.

Malignant Melanoma.

She's referring me immediatly to a plastic surgeon for a larger excise and to the Cancer Clinic. I should have appointments next week at both.

Holy hell I'm scared. This is fast. Has anyone been through this? What should I be asking, expecting?


I release the past so I am free to fight for my future unencumbered.

Posts: 2293 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Canada
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Lighthouse )))


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6520 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((lighthouse))))

sending SI mojo


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52569 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do some research on the different stages. Prognosis and treatment are based on depth of the cancer and on if any lymph nodes have been affected.

Sending you positive mojo and offering up prayers.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 11:20 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
HopeFloats2272
♀ New Member
Member # 39264
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((LighthouseHeart)))

I am so sorry about your diagnosis!! I don't have much advice as I haven't had melanoma but I have had basal cell carcinoma. It runs in the family. My dad had malignant melanoma a few years ago and fortunately it hadn't spread to the lymph nodes yet.

The Internet is a blessing (ie: SI) and a curse. There is so much unfiltered information out there to freak you out but I can't stop myself from "researching" my ailments before my Dr. appointments. Take advice and everything you read with a grain of salt.

I will say that getting a second opinion is always a good idea. Your Dr. may refer you to a specialist but that doesn't mean you can't get another opinion from a Dr. of your choice.

I'll be thinking of you!! Keep us posted!


BS- 40, WH 38
Married 13yrs, 2 Sweet Boys-5 & 9
DD#1: 1/10/12- 6mo EA
DD#2: 8/23/12-revealed 1PA, 2ONS in 2010 and 1EA/PA in 2004
DD#3: 9/10/12- ONS w/friend in 2010
Lots of other crap and TT - basically I was married to a guy that forgot he was

Posts: 38 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Maryland
Lighthouse Heart
♀ Member
Member # 8899
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you guys - it's nice to see some response..hugs always welcome :)

I wrote things down as she was talking to me but now I'm not sure what they say lol...

The next excise will go wider and deeper to ensure that all the growth was removed by her the first time.

The referal to the plastic surgeon is because it's a deeper level of the skin layers...I think she said to 6mm and something about Breslo Depth? Because the excise will be much larger it needs a "Z" incision to make closing it back up and healing better?

The referal to the Cancer Clinic is for tracking and follow up.

She said that in the small of the back you're not dealing with lymph glands so not a concern. There was no sign of invasion to blood vessels (a good thing?)

The quickness she said is that IF there was any small bit still there the area has been disturbed and could spread and grow.

I've been with this Doctor for 35 years, I was 12 and she was just starting her practice, I do not question her at all nor the collegues she has ever refered me to for something - her care is top notch. Hell, I have her home number and she will do a house call still for me if needed.

I will ask her on Wednesday about staging..and ya I've already made the mistake of google thy ailment I closed it out and am not going to make myself crazy...so I came here instead lol

It's still scary. Heck I watch the Big C ya know?


I release the past so I am free to fight for my future unencumbered.

Posts: 2293 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((lighthouse)))))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25691 | Registered: Aug 2011
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((LighthouseHeart))))


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9744 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:51 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Lighthouse)))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5256 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:34 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Lighthouse)))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37981 | Registered: Sep 2007
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lighthouse, my h had a deep basal cell, required the Z incision. That just refers to how they cut ( in a z shape vs straight line)to keep scarring to a minimum in a place that does not typically have a lot of excess fat or skin (unlike most of me )

Hugs to you and sending prayers for early stage.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6604 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((Lighthouse)))))))

I'm keeping you in my prayers.


Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Lighthouse)))))
Sending you good thoughts.
My best friend had that at the top of the center of her back. Excision and follow-up treatment took care of it. It took awhile to heal, because they removed lots of tissue, and that actually troubled her the most.
She has follow-up checks every six months for awhile, then it dropped to once a year, and after ten years went to checks every 18 months.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((lighthouse))))

Sending mojo, strength, and prayers.


Posts: 35801 | Registered: Mar 2011
amitheow
♀ Member
Member # 4691
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My friend at work just had that. They dug REAL deep in her arm which she said was not pleasant and then they called and said they got all of it - and it was malignant melanoma too.

I think they are just going to watch her lymphnodes and stuff for the next six months.

I also had a friend who had it on her ankle. They went all the way down to the bone on her, twice .. and got it all. She's been fine for a few years now.

If they catch it fairly fast, then it's all good.


Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.


Posts: 5085 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Texas
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had one removed by a plastic surgeon in 1998. They went pretty deep (I had soreness for nearly a month), but no reoccurrence. If they catch it early, they can usually get all of it.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29657 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you!

A bit of practical advice from a mom who's spent many years dealing with cancer centers, etc. for her kid:

1. Do you have a friend who can go with you to appts to take notes and ask questions? That way you do not have to worry about being focused. (That's my job in our family; FWH is the "I'm too distraught about our kid to be focused" one).
2. Follow up by email with your doc and with any specialists.
3. If there is a team approach at the plastic surgeon or (more likely) the cancer center, get to know the top nurse on your team, or the case manager. They will be very helpful. Even the most helpful and nice doctor is usually not as quick and proactive as the nurse or case manager.

My thoughts are with you, LighthouseHeart!


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Sep 2012
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry to hear this news.

Covering you in prayer.

(((LHH)))

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21068 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending good thoughts to you


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Lighthouse)))

Sending you healing thoughts and MOJO!


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24587 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
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