But I know it is the really nice good moments that trigger me more now. I get a feeling like "it could have always been this way, it SHOULD have always been this way!!!". Why why did it have to get so bad first?
"Knowing is half the battle"
Expecting progress not perfection
So what you describe sounds reasonable to me....
We worked through it. I considered IC again, but we were a little stretched financially due to medical bills so I didn't. Thankfully it passed as we worked through it...again.
got a back massage,we had a really good talk,foot rub
I wouldn't worry about labels, i.e., normal.
But if you want to prevent negative reinforcement -- and think you'd enjoy massages and/or flowers in the future -- then you may want to apologize for your angry outburst. Because yesterday it sounds like he had nothing but the best of intentions for your well-being and safety.