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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: gorilla nightmare
heathenchristian
♀ Member
Member # 40060
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was having drm/nightmare last night. Had to force myself awake. We (me/child) were at a huge park w/lots of dogs & then bears & gorillas were there.
Mommy gorilla could talk(wierd)
Her child was holding mine, she then took my child & I was tryin to get my child back. I woke up jst as WS came into bedroom (home frm wrk). He asked y I was up. So I told him my nightmare.

Ok...the OW was not pretty actually had monkey/gorilla face. I've only seen a few pics but she does look that way. Don't think I'll evr b able 2 look @monkeys/gorillas without thinking about her.

Sorry for typos. Submitted via phone


If you don't want me at my worst, maybe I won't need you at my best.
DDAY 1 - not sure but it was July, Aug or Sept 2010 (supposed bj from hooker)
DDAY 2 - 7-22-2013 she was the made up hooker

Posts: 99 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: IL
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HC)))

I'm sorry your experiencing bad dreams.

Nope, you'll never look at a monkey the same way.

Too bad her face looks like a monkey's face and not its ass huh??

To humor yourself, you could maybe think of this whenever you have to look at a monkey now.

I'm not minimizing your trigger, just hoping to make you feel better about it.


Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((heathenchristian)))

Posts: 33938 | Registered: Mar 2011
heathenchristian
♀ Member
Member # 40060
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was wierd. I'm trying not to think of her. I am also not asking him specifics. Just general yes/no questions. I don't need to be haunted by images that pop into my head.
I know time will help.
Thanks for listening and being there.


If you don't want me at my worst, maybe I won't need you at my best.
DDAY 1 - not sure but it was July, Aug or Sept 2010 (supposed bj from hooker)
DDAY 2 - 7-22-2013 she was the made up hooker

Posts: 99 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: IL
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you're having bad dreams.

But isn't comparing OW to a gorilla mean to the gorilla?


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 1:27 AM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regular nightmares here too. I am sorry you have these...some I have involve my children too.

In real life I have had gorilla-like feelings inside of me as I walk my children to school and see my wifes AP dropping his kids off too (they would meet after dropping respective kids off at school)...or picking them up...small town, small school, run ins are inevitable...especially since he continues parking on a street between our house and the school. They have bus service to his home AND a regular parent parking and pick up system...but he likes his old way better.....I digress.

At times I have so much gorilla-like feelings that I have voluntarily given up that enjoyable task of dropping off or picking up my girls...so as not to have a criminal record. yep, OM have had the sheriff call me and warn me not to confront him. This is one of the tougher things I have had to give up...tough because there is nothing like seeing your daughters enthusiasm and excitement right before and especially after school (by the time I get home from work those moments have passed)....tough because it is within me to fix this, to control myself to the point of enjoying the moment with my girls and not noticing my wifes AP. Not there yet....

Perhaps comparing myself to a gorilla is unfair to the gorilla as well (as hurtbuthopeful humorously posted above )...from what I know of gorillas they may be smarter and more in control of themselves then I am at times.

I gotta say...it felt good to impersonate a Silverback even if it was childish...awoke a protection feeling in me I did not know was there....kinda scary but kinda awesome.

Still....I would gladly give up that feeling for no A and no nightmares and no sense that my family was endangered.

Sorry to end on a down note. It is 1:30 am and I am not looking forward to sleeping.

God help us all.

p.s. iPhone typing on here DOES suck.

p.p.s. nightmares are so frequent I don't bother to tell my wife many times....especially because they are so repetitive in nature...she has heard about them enough to know the pretty regular plot involved in each of them. I am a repetitive type of processor...counselor has advised asking myself if my wife and I have addressed a particular subject...and if we have then she has requested I sit on the thought and work through it a bit before re engaging my wife on it. Seems to work on nightmares...rarely wake up in a full sweat anymore.

Peace be with you.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 5:43 AM, August 4th (Sunday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3411 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
heathenchristian
♀ Member
Member # 40060
Wink  Posted: 2:14 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurtbuthopeful- yes I guess that comparing OW to Gorilla is insulting the Gorilla, thanks for the LOL & I did. I needed that.

Blakesteele - I am sorry you are hurting this way too. Thank goodness in my situation OW is not from our area/neighborhood. I'd probably go batshit crazy.
Stay strong.

I sometimes feel I can't go thru with this and just want to move on without him. It may happen, but I am willing to try at this point.

Hugs to all


If you don't want me at my worst, maybe I won't need you at my best.
DDAY 1 - not sure but it was July, Aug or Sept 2010 (supposed bj from hooker)
DDAY 2 - 7-22-2013 she was the made up hooker

Posts: 99 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: IL
Topic Posts: 7

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