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User Topic: It's not adding up
Nicnac
♀ Member
Member # 40131
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, the OW says her husband caught on to and confronted her about the affair on the 19th, so why do the phone records show texting between her and my H on the 20th and 21st? She said the last she heard from him was on the 21st when her husband tried to friend request me to tell me everything. I didn't know the person and don't accept requests from people I don't actually know, especially men, so I asked my H if he knew who this person was. of course he said no, but promptly texted his AP to ask why her H was friend requesting me. She said she never responded.

Posts: 80 | Registered: Jul 2013
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're really going to believe the OW???

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Wonderingwhy11
♀ Member
Member # 34782
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unfortunately even when caught they will still try to lie. My guess is the texting the days after OBS found out is because WS and OW were making sure their stories were in synch. Of course your WS is going to tell you he doesn't know who is friend requesting you. He doesn't want you to talk to the OBS.

The likely truth is OBS found out on the 19th and they continued to text and on the 21st OW found her BH tried to contact you. Now they are scrambling because they don't want you talking to OBS.


Me BW - 46
Him WH - 53
Together 23 yrs, Married 18
DDay August 2011
2 kids - 13 and 15

Gotta love the life that we livin'


Posts: 376 | Registered: Feb 2012
whatjusthappened
♀ Member
Member # 34695
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OWH found out about 2 days before he told me everything, and in those two days OW started applying the pressure with my H. I suspect she knew OWH was going to tell me and she was hoping to have my H ready to come running to her. Also, in the hours after OWH told me, they spoke and texted more than they had in the previous two days because my H was trying to find out what I knew, what OW told her H, and was trying to manage the situation.

All this to say, it's not out of the realm of possibility that there was communication after her H found out.


Me - 39
Him - 38
Married 15 years
2 DS
Day my world crashed down: 12/22/11
In R. Most days.

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: AZ
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My guess is the texting the days after OBS found out is because WS and OW were making sure their stories were in synch. 

^^^^This, in a nutshell.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
WhiteCarrera
♂ Member
Member # 29126
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damage Control!


If I want recovery, then I must allow for it to actually happen.
Is it possible that I actually do have all the truth now?

me - husband A46
her - wife A42
Married 17 years
D-Day August 2, 2009
3 kids 11, 13, and 15


Posts: 274 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Midwest
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 4:53 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, getting stories straight. I confronted one and by the time I got to the next, they had matching stories. Ow lied to me, this one will lie to you. Your not in her best interest, she's concerned with herself and your husband period.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5039 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Wonderingwhy11
♀ Member
Member # 34782
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nicnac - Have your read Not Just Friends? It explains why WS and AP keep in contact - basically it is the lies that keep them in contact. The lies to keep the stories straight are what they share together and the truth they don't want to share with BS.

When I did finally contact the OW to ask questions it was amazing how she said some of the same things and same terminology. Couldn't remember dates and other details just like my WH.


Me BW - 46
Him WH - 53
Together 23 yrs, Married 18
DDay August 2011
2 kids - 13 and 15

Gotta love the life that we livin'


Posts: 376 | Registered: Feb 2012
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW would not have any reason to tell the truth here and would likely be looking out for herself. WS at some points seem to be the same, for the ones I've known of continued to lie for a time, prior to giving up.

We, the BS, often become the enemy, because we question and poke holes in the reality of the bubble created by an A.

Just because people are found out, doesn't mean it will end.

I'm really sorry, Nicnac.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very few affairs end immediately upon discovery.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Scubachick
♀ Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband called the OW and asked her to cover for him and lie to me so he could save his marriage. He had her tell me it was twice when it was really 4 times. She did exactly what he wanted and then he even did a false apology to us both right after that at the same time. I don't know how either one of them sat there with a atraight face. Be careful believing anything either one of them says.

Posts: 666 | Registered: Jul 2013
PolyGal
♀ Member
Member # 20396
Default  Posted: 4:33 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a similar experience after I confronted with my suspicions but before I confirmed them. Basically I asked directly if what I thought might be going on was going on. Then they put a lot of effort into getting their stories straight. Then he left his IM open while out on an errand, and that is how I confirmed.

I agree, they are likely synching their stories and attempting damage control.


Posts: 118 | Registered: Jul 2008
Topic Posts: 12

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