Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: jdubb80 (44703)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Visit for lunch or no?
MylarPineapples
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Question  Posted: 11:01 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH told me today that he heard from a supervisor that Coworker #2 has requested to be rescheduled to a different shift - the same shift WH works - and that she will be starting that schedule on Monday. WH says he has not talked to her and he has no idea why she made this request. I have spyware on his phone, so I know he has not been calling or texting with her, so I have no evidence that he is lying about that. I told him that maybe I will show up on his lunch break on Monday to bring him lunch and eat with him. He said that was fine, although he did seem a bit nervous about it. (I think he is worried that I might cause a scene and embarrass him.)

On DDay in June, I sent a brief Facebook message to Coworker #2 basically letting her know that I saw the texts she sent to WH and what I thought of her, and that is why I was defriending her on FB. At that time she sent me a contrite reply apologizing. Since then, however, she has approached WH at work a couple of times, once to offer him a hug and recently to tell him that she misses their friendship and wants to still be friends with him. (I know this because WH told me, and he says that he declined both offers.)

I know that she has never worked the hours that WH works and probably does not know many people on that shift. I would like to go have lunch with him mostly to prevent her from inviting herself to sit down and eat with WH at lunch on her first day on that shift. (I don't think WH would initiate that, but I also don't think he would get up and walk away from the table if she did so.) I have no intention of causing a scene, but I am also not going to hesitate to tell that girl to get up and move if she had the gall to approach the two of us during lunch.

The other potentially awkward situation is that Coworker #1 DOES work the same hours that WH does. I have never met or spoken to her, so if I did run into her that would be the first time. She has apparently found herself a serious boyfriend who she is infatuated with (according to WH) so I'm not too worried about her at the moment, but I'm not sure what I'd say to her if I ran into her. Probably nothing.

So my question is, what do you all think? Is going to WH's work to have lunch with him a good idea or not? (Just FYI, it is not unusual at his workplace for employee's spouses to visit during their meal breaks, so my presence would not seem generally inappropriate.) I know that NC is generally the recommended course of action on this forum, but since WH doesn't have the option of strict NC I feel like inserting myself into that environment is maybe not a bad thing to do.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
summerain
♀ Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good thing this is general forum
.......
WTF

I'm going to take it on face value that the job situation is difficult. Definitely go on Monday and chuck in a snide comment to this bitch as well.

YOU are the wife here, and go in there, stare her down and say something repulsive. I would say "looks like you are too _____ to find your own man, too bad just go play with your vibrator"

Show both! Of them that you are not to be fucked with. And WH better pull up his socks and find a new job!

Jeesh so cranky for you!


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
MylarPineapples
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The more I think about it, the more I really want to go. I probably would not have the opportunity to chat with Coworker #1, but if she decided to approach us I think I'd have to say, "Hi, I'm Mylar, you're Coworker #1 right? We've never met, but I saw your pictures. So did you ever end up getting your nipples pierced? Oh, but we don't need any more photos of that, thanks!"

I really don't know what I would say to Coworker #2.
WH's text conversation with her that I found was VERY graphic with disgusting pics she sent him of herself. There really isn't much to say to her except GO AWAY YOU NASTY DIRTY WHORE.

I really wish WH could just quit, but financially we couldn't do it. Without going into details, he'd never make close to the money he is making now if he went somewhere else. We have one child going off to college soon, and I am not sacrificing our ability to educate our son because my WH is an idiot.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely go. Dressed to the nines with your head held high. DO NOT engage with her. She does not exist anyway.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2150 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH also works with his AP. I go to meet him for lunch as often as possible. When she does come within eyeview I stare her down but she very rarely even looks my way. I say go, definitely go.
The problem I'm having right now is I just recently found out how long this has actually been going on so I want to kill her. Nasty dirty whore indeed!


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
T-13 M-9
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13.
Hopeful for R

Posts: 843 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
MylarPineapples
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I went to lunch, and it went fine. Neither of the howorkers were anywhere to be seen. Which got me wondering... and after I left I asked him if he told them I was coming. He says he did mention it, but in the context of a group conversation that was going on. Oooo, I am pissed. I specifically asked him NOT to tell them I was coming, because to me that shows he is still trying to protect them. He, of course, says this is ridiculous. But to me, that was sort of a test of where his loyalties lie, and he failed.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would feel that way too but I hope you're wrong :( I'm sorry he did that. I don't have any wisdom to impart other than to say it sucks that he didn't really listen to what you were asking. I hope he can start.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
T-13 M-9
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13.
Hopeful for R

Posts: 843 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
hardtimesinlife
♀ Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Next time just show up. He doesn't get warning anymore.

I would be very angry about that.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6088 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:27 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah....not buying it.

He warned them.

Group conversation..he just casually mentioned that his wife was coming to lunch that day?

Chances are...he warned them..no group involved.

Red flag. This is a red flag. Im not saying he is still involved with either of them..but it certainly seems to indicate he is talking to them..one on one..and for some reason,doesn't want you to come face to face with them. Could be because he's worried you will say something to one of them(first,it's your right to do so,and second,he's telling you he doesn't have much faith in you being able to control yourself..a bit of an insult..considering..). Or is could be because he's afraid one of them will tell you something you don't know,if there's a confrontation.

Yes..he is protecting someone..

Them?
You?
Himself?(dingdingding).


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7310 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
MylarPineapples
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes..he is protecting someone..

Them?
You?
Himself?(dingdingding).

Yes, this is how I feel about it. We had a big fight about it last night. Lots of the same old BS manipulation - first he was just excited to see me so he just had to tell his buddies who were sitting there, and refused to address the fact that I had asked him to not tell the OWs. Then he got a big attitude, saying, "I thought you were coming to see ME? What, were you just hoping to cause problems?" I pretty much laid in to him after that - who the F$&% does he think he is giving ME an attitude about ANY of this shit?!?!? And I told him, even if I had been hoping to see them, SO WHAT?? Is it unreasonable to want the whores who are trying to fuck my husband to at least look me in the face?!?!? Ugh, I am sooooo pissed.

[This message edited by MylarPineapples at 6:38 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and after I left I asked him if he told them I was coming. He says he did mention it, but in the context of a group conversation that was going on.

Holy-catz....so he is having general conversations with his howorkers?


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2055 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
MylarPineapples
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, he says he was talking to his buddies and howorker #2 happened to be sitting there. (It is a relatively small group of people that he works with, and it is not feasible that he will not be in their presence on a regular basis.) He claims the comment was not directed to her, but tonight he at least admitted that he was aware she could hear him, and that he was hoping she would take the hint. He says he was afraid I would say something confrontational to her and expose his embarrassing behavior to all his other coworkers.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 12

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.