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Newest Member: UnsureHowIFeel (44250)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feel's like 2nd place
9.10.11
♂ Member
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a friend that has been divorced for almost 3 yrs. He dated some and then found a SO. I know them both and they are both good people. She just came off a 2-3 yr LTR that she broke off due to his ex and some minor things that probably led to resentment.
they have been an exclusive couple for probably 6-8 months. He still feels like "2nd place" to her LTR and is hurt she has no pix of him on her FB and he has some of her on his. I told him to stay off FB, it's a problem but he connects with friends through it.
Is this a "sign" or does she just need to show a little more love toward him? neither has said "I love you".
They make a great couple from the outside, but I don't know alot about what goes on when they are alone. Or maybe he just needs to relax and not worry so much. i feel bad for him, but he is a grown man.

His confidence has been low since his wife cheated on him moved on.


Posts: 113 | Registered: Aug 2012
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He needs to discuss his concerns with her, then gauge after her response. After 6-8 months, I would probably at least have a photo or two on FB. I don't state my "relationship status", but by that point I'm going to know if it is serious enough to "go public".


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4015 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Q:What are the 3 most important things in any relationship? A:communication, communication, communication.

He needs to talk to her about what is bothering him. If he's hurt that there aren't pictures of them as a couple on her FB, he needs to let her know this. If he is hurt that he isn't getting enough of her time or attention or love, he needs to talk to her.

Its good he has you to talk with...encourage him to talk to the person who can do something about the changes he wants...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3006 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think he should rely on "signs" - he needs to talk to her honestly about his concerns.

6-8 months is a decent amount of time, so if he's right, this discussion will possibly end their relationship, but if the alternative is to just pretend all is well, then he's probably better off cutting his losses now.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4374 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 4

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