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Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

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User Topic: H had a meltdown, please help
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stayed through my STBX's episodes. I begged him to go to counseling and stay on his meds. I relate it to addictions more than cancer. He had to want to help himself more than I wanted him to help himself, and he just didn't. This is probably why I say so often that I had plenty of reasons to leave before the cheating, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I feel for you BeautifulEmpty, and I'm actually thinking now he is in a very tough spot as almost every last one of our mutual friends have abandoned him, and he has limited family already. He still has MOW, but of course we all like to predict how long that will last, which is not that long (especially given he already cheated on her since we separated).

Like addictions, I really hope one of these days the consequences are bad enough for him that he realizes he needs help.. I hope he does this for the kids because after the years of torture, I'm done with him for good. I'm just not strong enough to put up with that anymore. The emotional and some physical abuse was far more than anyone should have to take.. But you give a lot of hope to people have truly "remorseful" bipolar spouses who would really take the steps to get healthy..

How are you doing WaryOptimist? How's your daughter?

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2398 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
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Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that is awful :(

I think that he should be committed. See if there is an actual problem with him, he could just be... not nice

I know that we all sometimes have tendencies to slap on a label. But none of us know your WH and are trained in this area.

Lets not give him an excuse if there isn't something wrong with him

OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
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Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can't help someone that does not want help..
Do what I am doing go to the doctor with your spouse. In front of the doctor tell the spouse he either gets help for his actions are you will send him packing.. The doctor is there witnessing his reaction you should be in a fairly safe environment. You never know if you have Jekyll or Hyde?
You have lack of communication because of this. I get it... If you have had enough then leave.
My spouse is usually more receptive to medical talk at the doctors office.
Hope you are well and ok.

There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3188 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 37043
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

beautifulempty, thanks for coming along and posting that. I don't know much about BP, but I felt that your post encouraged some level of sensitivity, understanding, and at least a consideration of the vows we make, regardless of mental health status.

Byt there is no shame is saying, "sticking with this BP person in sickness and health is making ME sick and my kids sick...I'm done." I think the OP has stuck with him in sickness and health and then some already. That's what I've witnessed with mental health issues...when a person does not get help OR the help isn't working, loved ones are forced to draw a protective boundary (leaving, cutting off contact) in order to maintain some semblance of an emotionally and mentally healthy lives for themselves.

Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
Kids: Yep
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 24
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