Terrible situation - my mother was declared cured after 5yrs and then hot spots appeared at her throat - and died within 6 mos. Bread cancer is pure evil.

here is the deal - you have to protect the family and family assets. OM is not family and given the chance - quick divorce and remarriage - he has control of her share.

Listen to Stronger8 -

My god, what a sad situation your in. My .02 cents in all of this is that she, MIL and OM are attempting a legal maneuver to ensure that her interest in the business does not default to you. As her legal heir once she passes her ownership becomes yours. This is a very underhanded thing to do and I would not give them the satisfaction. While I'm sorry your children are losing their mother. Im very appalled at the selfish behavior going on here. And if I were you I'd fight the D tooth and nail as your WW does not have much time left. After her passing I'd make sure OM and your MIL stand tall before the man. I'd make sure MIL is not around my children to influence them with her devious behaviors. And I'd also make sure OM bought me out of the business for top dollar. Or if money is not an issue I'd force the closure of said business.

= he picked up and you need an atty yday my friend. You cant do anything about her past decisions but you can damn sure stop her actions now. MIL can go to hell. You are her spouse = Your kids mother will need everything owed to them.

You may need to have a chat with OM and get him to back off or find out his intentions.

1. Get your intermitent FMLA forms from YOUR employer, and get them filled out pronto. For care of a family member. This allows you to take time off when you need to care for her without concern of loosing your job.

2. Is she still competent? If so get it documented by a Dr. Then make sure you have the forms filled out and ready for her signature (probably means a trip to the attorney's office) to get all her assests placed into a trust, or that you get them upon her death. This protects you and the kiddos. This of course includes any 401k's, life insurance policies etc. Also have a health directive filled out, ONLY if she has made you her primary decision maker. If not then DO NOT do it. Legally your are married, and decisions fall to you for her health care, if she doesn't have a health directive stating otherwise.

3. Talk to the Dr's about palliative medicine. This is a highly underused method of healthcare that will give you some extra support. She knows she is terminal, you know she is not curable. Change the focus from get well to get quality from the time left. (Not quite the same as hospice, as you will still do things like go to the hospital if needed etc). Insurance helps with this, and you will get some Home Care help, that will be a huge support for you as her health declines, and when it's time to transition to hospice it will be seemless.

As I see it, I don't think this is something that you are going to resolve, or find peace with. This just a plain shitty thing to have happen to you. I would not agree to D. I would also strongly recommend that you and OM have a long conversation about him destroying your family, and ask for a cease and desist immediately. He may not agree, as they both feel they are in lurrrve. IF that is the case, then I would make damn sure that he has limited access to her as she declines in health. I'm sure Mr fantasyland, unicorns and rainbows isn't prepared to wipe her rear, feed her, and provide care to her if he isn't getting anything out of it.

Your wife has made her choices, and has her own deamons to deal with, just know that her choices are just that her choices. There is nothing that you could do/ or could have done that would have prevented this.

((((and strength)))