Be careful, ArableSands. They are very addictive.
Try to substitute something not so unhealthy if you can't stand the pain ( & believe me, I understand about not being able to stand the pain anymore.)
For the first 6 mos after Dday, I was afraid to try anything stronger than passiflora (it is an anti-anxiety herb,also called Passion Flower, used for anxiety & insomnia, & you can buy it in the Health food Store.) Of course, the best would be to substitute exercise, meditation, prayer.
But I know how it is when the pain is so sharp.
You don't want to come out of this with a new problem ( addiction). You deserve much better than that---be good to yourself.
It will get better. Sending you strength.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 1:11 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]
You find that it takes more drug or alcohol to get to the same kind of numbness..
It gets to the point where the dose or amount of pain killers or alcohol taken to get numb becomes extremely unhealthy, opening the door for multiple health issues to come into your life..
As others have posted, meditation, exercise and hobbies help the pain in a different way..May not get rid of the pain, but provides for a pleasant distraction..
Numbing the pain has a terrible side effect : it delays your greif and therefore impairs your capacity for emotional healing. Don't tamper with this.
Susan Anderson has a wonderful exercise in her book Journey from Abandonment to healing. It's called Staying in the moment. It WORKS. It saved my sanity during the A and the D. I also used it when I was confronted with the wheelchair. It saved my life.
Another activity that is proven is exercise. The bonus with this one is that it releases powerful, naural, good soothing chemicals in your brain. Even if it's just taking a 15 minutes walk on your lunch break (I told that to a divorcing friend who was sedentary. He ended up running a marathon a year later. That's how addictive exercise chemicals are, it seems!)
If you feel you need some serious chemical help, consider seeing your Md for something that's safe and appropriate for what you are going through. Many of us had to. You won't get numb with the good prescription of ADs, just strong enough to go through the healing process instead of over it.
Getting as healthy as possible will allow you to think better, feel better and heal better. I know that for a fact.
Hang in there. It will get better. Trust me.
[This message edited by burnt_toast at 2:23 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]
Just don't let your wifes infidelity break your heart AND turn you into a addict. That is a lose/lose for you.
This pain will get better, I promise. I wanted to fix everything in a week also. I am a fixer, but just couldn't fix this one without the time and the work. Not for lack of trying at first. Keep posting. You will get through this. Hugs. K