Topic: I did it. . .
Member # 25957
| Posted: 3:01 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
. . . I picked up and dropped off DD at XH's house that he shares with his new family (wifetress, her DD, and their new DD).
This is the first time since Dday that I have gone to his home. It was time. I am healed enough to do this. Even DD said she was "impressed" and she's only 7 yrs old!
I was fine through the exchange. I cooed at the their 1 year old who was standing with XH at the door. I made small talk with his step DD who is 5 yrs old. I did not see wifetress, but heard her on the phone. I did not go into the house - I stood on the porch the whole time.
XH made a move for the baby that he did with our DD whe she was that young. Took me back to when I thought we were happy. My knees almost gave way right then.
After drop off I teared up a little on my way home in the car. The fact that I no longer know the man I married and the father of my child came over me. The magnitude of what DD and I have been through came over me.
Those thoughts stayed for a bit. Then I rolled down the car windows, turned up the radio, and drove home in the warm sunshine with the knowledge that I am a good mother, was a good wife, and came through the other side with integrity, strength, and honor.
[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 3:02 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]
Posts: 1239 | Registered: Oct 2009
Member # 19595
| Posted: 3:28 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
It feels so damn good when you truely realize you ARE healing.
Then I rolled down the car windows, turned up the radio, and drove home in the warm sunshine with the knowledge that I am a good mother, was a good wife, and came through the other side with integrity, strength, and honor.
And you have a life to continue living as that good woman. That is one the most important things that I didn't lose in my self after being with a NPD for almost 30 yrs. I'm still a good woman and not a bitter bitch after all the betrayl.
Hugs and enjoy the day.
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.
Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Member # 35617
| Posted: 3:55 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
I am so proud of you! You are a true survivor. Have a great day!
Me - BS, 43
Him - WH, 45
Married - 22 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me.
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
INS 07/2013 Divorcing
Posts: 226 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
Member # 37215
| Posted: 4:10 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
Yay! I'm so proud of you and I am thankful that you shared! You handled yourself with self-respect, integrity and dignity. Now go and enjoy your day!
Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
I FINALLY GOT A COURT DATE: 5/29/14!!
Posts: 1832 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 28622
| Posted: 4:38 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
You did it!!!
Good for you.
Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
Posts: 5310 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 38378
| Posted: 8:28 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
You are at a point I hope to get to ...someday. Bravo.
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 37756
| Posted: 9:30 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
You are amazing!! I'm really impressed too!!
Your daughter has two younger siblings now. And you're making it ok for her to feel comfortable in that role. As someone who grew up in that exact situation but with a very bitter and angry mother, I can't begin to explain what a gift you are giving your daughter.
You are truly an inspiration!!!!
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
Posts: 372 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 29183
| Posted: 9:39 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
You are an incredible woman, and an amazing mother.
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011
Posts: 2498 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Member # 33226
| Posted: 9:42 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
You can call me NIK
There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox
Posts: 22712 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 26928
| Posted: 9:46 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
Then I rolled down the car windows, turned up the radio, and drove home in the warm sunshine with the knowledge that I am a good mother, was a good wife, and came through the other side with integrity, strength, and honor.Hell yeah!!!! You kicked arse. Good for you!
Me - 41
My Rockstar (Hubs #2) - 46, faithful, & an absolute doll!
DD(20) and DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs and 2 Cats)
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW. Undiagnosed SA?)
Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.
Posts: 5534 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: United States
Member # 25957
| Posted: 10:39 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
Aww, thanks ladies, your responses are gonna make me cry!
I thought I would never get to this day. Didn't think I had it in me. But I did this not only for DD, but also for me. I wanted to show FT that he did not take my spirit!
[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 10:44 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]
Posts: 1239 | Registered: Oct 2009
Member # 40075
| Posted: 11:08 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013|
wow---I'm not one of the ladies, but I am really impressed also. I've come along way since the nightmare began last Fall, but it is sure hard to imagine getting to the point where you are at.
Great for you!
Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
Divorced and Done!--7/13
Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Member # 38865
| Posted: 3:10 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013|
what an inspirational post! You rock FirstLoveGone!!
Thank you for sharing.
Me: Awesome - 35
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –
Posts: 716 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Member # 36434
| Posted: 3:48 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013|
Hurray for you! :)
Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.
Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
|Topic Posts: 14|