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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I did it. . .
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

. . . I picked up and dropped off DD at XH's house that he shares with his new family (wifetress, her DD, and their new DD).

This is the first time since Dday that I have gone to his home. It was time. I am healed enough to do this. Even DD said she was "impressed" and she's only 7 yrs old!

I was fine through the exchange. I cooed at the their 1 year old who was standing with XH at the door. I made small talk with his step DD who is 5 yrs old. I did not see wifetress, but heard her on the phone. I did not go into the house - I stood on the porch the whole time.

XH made a move for the baby that he did with our DD whe she was that young. Took me back to when I thought we were happy. My knees almost gave way right then.

After drop off I teared up a little on my way home in the car. The fact that I no longer know the man I married and the father of my child came over me. The magnitude of what DD and I have been through came over me.

Those thoughts stayed for a bit. Then I rolled down the car windows, turned up the radio, and drove home in the warm sunshine with the knowledge that I am a good mother, was a good wife, and came through the other side with integrity, strength, and honor.

[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 3:02 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]


Posts: 1274 | Registered: Oct 2009
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It feels so damn good when you truely realize you ARE healing.

Then I rolled down the car windows, turned up the radio, and drove home in the warm sunshine with the knowledge that I am a good mother, was a good wife, and came through the other side with integrity, strength, and honor.


And you have a life to continue living as that good woman. That is one the most important things that I didn't lose in my self after being with a NPD for almost 30 yrs. I'm still a good woman and not a bitter bitch after all the betrayl.

Hugs and enjoy the day.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
laney57
♀ Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so proud of you! You are a true survivor. Have a great day!


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Yay! I'm so proud of you and I am thankful that you shared! You handled yourself with self-respect, integrity and dignity. Now go and enjoy your day!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2268 | Registered: Oct 2012
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did it!!!

Good for you.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are at a point I hope to get to ...someday. Bravo.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are amazing!! I'm really impressed too!!

Your daughter has two younger siblings now. And you're making it ok for her to feel comfortable in that role. As someone who grew up in that exact situation but with a very bitter and angry mother, I can't begin to explain what a gift you are giving your daughter.

You are truly an inspiration!!!!


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 585 | Registered: Dec 2012
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((FirstLoveGone)))

You are an incredible woman, and an amazing mother.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((FirstLoveGone)))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25712 | Registered: Aug 2011
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then I rolled down the car windows, turned up the radio, and drove home in the warm sunshine with the knowledge that I am a good mother, was a good wife, and came through the other side with integrity, strength, and honor.
Hell yeah!!!! You kicked arse. Good for you!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6522 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aww, thanks ladies, your responses are gonna make me cry!

I thought I would never get to this day. Didn't think I had it in me. But I did this not only for DD, but also for me. I wanted to show FT that he did not take my spirit!

[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 10:44 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]


Posts: 1274 | Registered: Oct 2009
mandan66
♂ Member
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow---I'm not one of the ladies, but I am really impressed also. I've come along way since the nightmare began last Fall, but it is sure hard to imagine getting to the point where you are at.
Great for you!


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 3:10 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what an inspirational post! You rock FirstLoveGone!!

Thank you for sharing.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 748 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 3:48 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurray for you! :)


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 14

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