Thoughts and wishes.
Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller
Try to spend some special time with your son. He will also notice it. You may not be "yourself" all of the time, but the special time will help him be more comfortable. You mentioned that your WH was there for your son, how about for you?
There is a lot of support here for you. Keep posting.
Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.
Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.
I did finally go get some meds, but they aren't the best choice for me and I might need to try some others... the one short term one that clams me down right away is helpful... I've heard some on here like xanax... I haven't tried that one personally, but it's worth asking about and trying... I know exactly how you feel and experienced the same things....
I can tell you that the combination of poor sleep, poor nutrition, and being semi-dehydrated is one that will lead you into anxiety land pretty quickly. When I was sleep deprived, I had a much harder time keeping emotions in check. I had ativan to help me through, and honestly as a sleeping aid this stuff is great. It was just enough to calm my mind enough to allow me to get some sleep. If I had good sleep I was usually able to eat the next day.
Please let your professor know what is going on in your personaly life. That you have every intention of getting things done, but life is a bit overwhleming right at the moment. She will most likely give you all the wiggle room, and extra time you need to get things done. It's ok to need that right now. Don't be disappointed in you right now. The fact that you are able to even consider staying in the class is admirable.
Use time with you son as a break from the craziness. My kids were my only peaceful/happy place in the early days of dealing with this mess. They gave me love, and reminded me of the need to stay strong.
I was out 1 year before everything you are describing started to happen to me. Talk about denial and compartmentalization.
Everything you are going through is very normal. Everyone's advice is spot on.
When I finally flipped (might not be what you want to call it but I have a hard time admitting to "breaking down", flipped is much more fun) I did get my doctor to write the school and get me out of an impossible class. I also had medication.
I only needed the anxiety medication for about a week and then "as needed". Its been 3 months and I still haven't finished the first Rx.
Having it there in case of need helps me focus and TRY to do without - relaxation, visualization, breathing exercises, etc. because then I know if those don't work I have back up.
Funnily enough, when I stopped with the "shoulds", my need for the meds dropped. I "should" be a better mom right now, my son needs me. I "should" be a better student than this, I'm tougher than this. I "should" be giving him the cold shoulder not wanting to sex him to death. I "should" get my ass up and out of here and leave. I "should", I "should", I "should".....
Don't "should" anything to yourself. Accept how you are feeling, allow yourself to feel it. If you start to despair of feeling stuck find someone NOT your H to talk to. My IC saved me. I hope you have that option, if not a very trusted someone.