Topic: Caught Him Drinking!! After 100 Days. :(
Member # 36587
| Posted: 12:55 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Sending you my best wishes. I'm sorry to read about the position you're in. I hope you find the strength to make the decision that is right for you and your family. ((((Libertyrocks))))
BW(Me)40, WH 42
Married 17yrs, together 25yrs, 4 Children
Many DDays from 11th Nov, 11 revealing evidence. WH in full denial of PA.
Final DDay 17th Feb,12 OW confirmed PA - I called her.
Separated 8th Dec, 13
Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 36622
| Posted: 10:02 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013|
Checking in to see how you are doing.
fWS 35 (broevil)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better
"Knowing is half the battle"
Expecting progress not perfection
Posts: 2002 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 39774
| Posted: 12:07 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013|
I told him drinking is unaaceptable and if he wanted to drink he needs to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe something truly drastic, a true consequence.
You can your children leave for a few days, express to him (letter form, written) that you are leaving because he broken his promise, his sobriety and how this is affecting you and your family and your relationship.
Is he in AA? Has a sponsor?
I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.
Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: San Francisco
Member # 31240
| Posted: 12:48 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013|
I'm so sorry you're in this spot.
You might read up on 'Drama Triangle'. IIRC, Karpman came up with his model after observing a lot of alcoholism, and then he realized it had a wider application. In any case, reading might help you stay firm with your consequences.
FBH (me) - 65+, FWW (her) - 65+, Married 40+
DDay - 12/2010
2.5 years out, feeling human again, and feeling good, bad, indifferent at different times
Posts: 7508 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 37044
| Posted: 8:38 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013|
I can understand that drinking would be a deal-breaker for you, living with an active alcoholic is hell
I see drinking and cheating as separate, both equally lousy coping skills or acting out, if you wish.
My fWH is a "recovered" alcoholic with over 12 years sober when he had his A. Sobriety does not guarantee fidelity.
If it was "just a slip" and he's willing to "get back on the wagon" and he does have a sponsor and is doing (or will do step work), then his slip may not be that much of threat to your R.
I hope you're well. Have you done any reading on co-dependence? This might be a good time to implement the 180 (if he's around) or use it as a guide on how to take care of yourself right now.
Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 11 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
We are in R.
Posts: 692 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 28554
| Posted: 10:58 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013|
WH had an issue with drinking and it caused a lot of problems between us. It took a medical issue and us ridding the house of alcohol before he removed his head from his ass.
We were "lucky" in the medical issue, I don't think he would have stopped without it.
Me: BW 34 Him: WH 36
Dday #1 5/15/10 claimed EA/just friends
#2 9/20/10 (admitted to kiss w/ same OW
#3 11/29/10 admitted to a lot more
Posts: 3971 | Registered: May 2010
|Topic Posts: 26|