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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Poll of sorts: No remarriage after divorce
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 2:22 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know anyone who's been divorced for very long and hasn't remarried. A few years, maybe 12 tops, but they all remarried or haven't been divorced for long yet.

I don't EVER want to get married again. Never, ever, ever. However, my attorneys laugh at me (in a friendly way) when I say that. They say, "You're so young. You'll get married again." I guess maybe I could change my mind one day, but right now that seems so unlikely. I can see wanting a boyfriend, but not living together or getting married. I want my place that he can't mess with and I want him (there's no him right now, but I mean eventually) to have his own place. Overnights maybe sometimes, but not living together. No way. Who knows what the future will bring though? I feel so certain about it, but I know I might be wrong.

Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My exwh just remarried

I will never say never but I have every intention of remaining single. I have no interest in pursuing another relationship to be hurt and heart broken again. Ask me tomorrow you might get a different answer. But right now men are not my favourite species I am sure there are good ones out there but I can't see them.

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1363 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:20 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I personally don't intend on doing it again. But as the others said "Who knows what will happen" I do know I would be very content cohabitating. But the legalities that come with an official M and subsequent D have soured me to the suggestion. I am more than able to take care of myself. But I do get lonely from time to time. I guess I'm leaving my future up to God. If he wills it, I'll be there. If not I'm happy with that also.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5747 | Registered: Nov 2007
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Both my parents remarried - 25+ years to their new spouses.

My Aunt D in the 70s - She's been with the same man since the 80s but they have never married

I truly could give a rip one way or another if I remarry. It is not important to me. My SO proposed. I said yes. We haven't set a date. No reason in particular. He has a combo of commitment issues and deeply religious upbringing so he's conflicted. I left my M stunned that my X cheated. Totally floored and then to realize he probably had been for most of our relationship...whoa. I know that something I thought was 'safe' can end in an instant. Being M doesn't change that. So I don't care. If it really does become an issue for my SO, I will marry him. To me...meh...

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 8462 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My divorce was final in January 2001 after 13 months (should have been done in 60 days!). I thought for sure that I'd remarry. I really loved being married (until I didn't love being married to HIM). I had a few relationships. But none that inspired me to make it official in such a way.

Eventually I lost interest and one day realized that getting married again was actually not on my radar anymore. At this point I have absolutely no interest in sharing my home, time, finances, family, etc. I'm perfectly content alone.

Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink

Posts: 3088 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My (new) mil divorced my fil in 1987 when she found out he was having an affair with his secretary. She has never remarried, and the few times I have seen/met her, she has complained very bitterly and vocally about him - her ex of over 25 years. Meanwhile fil is on wife #3.

The entire situation is very sad.

I re-married fairly quickly (after a lot of IC and pre-marital MC with my new husband) but if I did not have my children living at home (who asked constantly when I would marry him and are GIDDY to have him as "dad") I would probably be content to just live with him. I was outvoted by him and the kids.

Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Jun 2010
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Marriage has never been a goal of mine. I really never expected to be married to XWH - I got pregnant and we got married - nearly 24 years later, we got divorced.

It's been 8 years since the D was final and I have not had any desire to be married again. I do have a wonderful relationship with a man and we are in the process of trying to merge our households. Neither of us feels the need to make our relationship legal. We love each other and are committed to each other - don't need any government interference in our relationship.


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7751 | Registered: Aug 2005
Topic Posts: 27
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