I know how you are feeling. My WH#2 told the OW he loved her and even gave her an engagement ring. He says now to shut her up becuase she was threathening to tell me, which she did about a year later. It is something that I now can't get over. He even saw her for another year after DDay#1, before she spilled the beans again that the A did not end. It has since ended, but my pain has not. I can't wrap my head around why he would continue to see her and hurt me more other than he is a selfish person who wanted to continue the A. I know he didn't really love her, but I also feel he didn't really love me either. The worst part is he didn't love himself.
We have totally different views on what love is I suppose. I could never hurt him the way he hurt me. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to him. That's my kind of love and that's what I want and deserve in return. I don't want a selfish love, where he can love me one day and love someone else the next and then back to me again. I thought I could get past that part, but I now am seeing I can't. I know my love for him is no longer what it should be and that is not what I want in my life. I would rather not have someone to love me, than to have that done to me again. Who knows he could met someone today and start loving her or think he does. He is broken and no matter how much I love him, I can't fix him or my marriage and he can't love me the way I want to be loved.