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Newest Member: Devestatedbeyond (44583)

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User Topic: Third strike
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, WH lied to my face again. He was out of town for work and went to a strip club and did something to get himself kicked out. He says the stripper put her crotch in his face and he wiggled his tongue at her. I have my doubts that that would get him kicked out.

Someone sent him a message on facebook calling him a dirty boy and to make sure to keep his tongue to himself. I wrote back and said, "What do you mean?" The guy wrote back and said, "I think you know what I mean." I stewed about it for a few days and then finally asked him. He insisted he didn't know what the guy was talking about. Riiiight. He finally confessed after lying right to my face.

He is now beating himself up (ie: feeling sorry for himself) He went on a 2 hour walk last night and then said no one even knew he was gone. Poor, poor baby.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared.

[This message edited by million tears at 9:05 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1663 | Registered: Jun 2009
hardtimesinlife
♀ Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((million tears)))

I'm so sorry. He needs to get help.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6086 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what kind of help he needs. IC? MC? We went through all of that. It's been 4 years since the A and I'm sure nothing has happened until this latest incident. He just started traveling for work and before that I knew where he was at all times. He was completely transparent. That is how I saw the message on facebook. He acts remorseful. I don't know where to go from here.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1663 | Registered: Jun 2009
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know where to go from here.
to a lawyer.

You titled your post 'third strike'. He's out honey.

Hefty bag his shit. Change the locks.

He is putting you at great risk if he is sticking his tongue in strippers crotches. Don't let him give you an STD like mine gave me.

I am so sorry. Sometimes it is what it is, and some people simply can not change. He has shown you who he is, believe him.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7027 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with PPGA. And I think that deep down, you do also....look at your title and what it implies.

Your WH is a 'dry adulterer.'
As long as you were able to keep him under your watchful eye, he behaved himself (maybe, maybe not). But the second that he gets a taste of 'freedom', *this* is what he does??!!?? And it's a strip club. Guys don't get thrown out for just *wiggling* their tongues in the air.

But then he comes home, gets *found out*, lies about it, and then decides to throw himself a 'pity party?'


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7869 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He says the stripper put her crotch in his face and he wiggled his tongue at her. I have my doubts that that would get him kicked out.

He didn't just wiggle his tongue at her. The only way he would have been thrown out is if he made physical contact with the stripper. If her crotch was in his face, it's pretty clear in what manner he made contact.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13693 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He didn't just wiggle his tongue at her. The only way he would have been thrown out is if he made physical contact with the stripper. If her crotch was in his face, it's pretty clear in what manner he made contact.

Yep

As hard as this is going to be you need to kick him out. You don't have to make any decisions about D yet, but get him out and make sure you have a list of requirements for him should you want him to come home and work on himself.

What he did is so wrong


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is what I was thinking. He would have had to touch her. Who knows where that nasty ass crotch has been.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1663 | Registered: Jun 2009
OneFootForward
♂ Member
Member # 39136
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first thing that hit me was "Strip Club." Never mind he got tossed out, but that he went there. I think we all know he was not going to come home and say "What did you do while I was away? Me? I went to strip club! Woohoo!!"

Right after it comes out that he went once and was caught, I wonder how many times he was NOT caught. Or what other activities he did while separated.

You have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. If this action crossed the line then you have two choices: either back up and draw another line OR back up what you said you would do when drafting the R agreement.

If it were me, my spouse would be making curb check as I started tossing her stuff out the door!


Me: 42 BS
Her: 41 EMA
Married: 16 years
D-Day#1: 04/17/13
D-Day#2: 05/8/13
Children: 9,5 (girls)
Om: High School Flame
"Marital problems doesn't make someone a cheater just like financial problems doesn't make someone a thief"

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Mobile, AL
Topic Posts: 9

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