Is it like they are monkeys in the zoo or what?
WTF is wrong with these people?
I just know if the husband would have put as much work into his job as he did to his COW he'd be making more money.
and every time he crabs about his job I remind him that.
I had just moved out of town for a job and I think he was lonely. No one else in the office seemed to like him and they latched onto each other.
WS and I met in school, which I guess is a little like being coworkers. We had something like 5 classes together our first year in grad school. So I guess it happens.
I guess I just don't get it given how risky it seems. It's one thing to date in school which is a terminal thing-- you eventually graduate or leave or something.
But for something to blow up at work? Don't sh*t where you eat!
[This message edited by PhantomLimb at 10:58 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]
[This message edited by meaniemouse at 11:25 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]
I've certainly had crushes on co-workers, but I always recognized them as fleeting and rarely about the person deep down. Usually I would just make a mental note "if I were single..." but, guess what, I'm not single. So I'd let it go. I always thought that acknowledging the feelings to myself took power away from them. And I just thought it showed I wasn't dead inside. :)
I guess that's the difference. I never dreamed of trying to act on it. Because when you weighed something that flimsy and imaginary against the "Real" love that I had at home, there wasn't a contest. And I could never hurt and disrespect my spouse in that way.
I'm surprised any subsequent relationship with an AP coworker works out, to be honest!
It's a false sense of intimacy. It's also an escape for those that do engage.
He now wears older smelling stuff. i like him smelling like a man not a boy.
He was always his best at work. She never knew about how he'd flip out on us or leave his socks all over the house. She got the 'best' of him.
I find it sad really - but it's so common.
You aren't crazy...you are REAL. But most people who engage in an affair are into it at least in part for the fantasy of it. Recently spoke with old friend who revealed a year long affair she had over a decade ago with her married boss. Neither she nor he works for the company any longer. Going through what I have been through (SAWH had a 2+ year affair with a co-worker), I wanted to know more about their motivation and what it was like, what kept it going, what ended it. She said at first, part of the excitement and appeal was the secrecy and the sneaking around. But that grew tiresome quickly. They could never be seen in public, go to movies, out to dinner, out to a bar. The only weekend they spent in public together was one where they flew to another city together. They had to use work related events as a way of getting together...their time was literally stolen moments. They'd have a vendor dinner which would end at 10 and he'd be at her apartment with her until he'd go home at 2. Pretty much what my SAWH was doing with his AP.
In the end, she wanted more from the relationship and, realizing that she would never get that, she ended it.
Now she realizes how selfish she was and that their behavior, though it was not their intent, probably did hurt his wife and kid ( she is not sure the wife ever found out but apparently towards the end she was suspicious). She also realizes that she did not really KNOW him - she only knew what he revealed to her and likewise she with him. It wasn't worth it in the end.