Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: ThomasD (45459)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The Tattoo Idea
♀ Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

kickboxer---that's really nice!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ Member
Member # 40212
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting the posts I have received from this subject because it was mentioned on one of my posts that I wanted a tattoo. No one wants a constant reminder of this time in their life. I too was cheated on. My reason for getting a tattoo is to empower myself. To do things that I feel I want to do to make myself feel good. I will never be the same after what happen and I know I will change to a much stronger version of myself whether we make it in therapy or not. I am strong... I don't want to be on a pity pot. I am also not "Tammy Wynet"...with the song stand by my Man. I have given this a time line. Right now, I have a lot of anger and will continue to do all things that will make me happy, empower me...and a "tatoo" is one of the things I have always wanted to do. It will not remind me of the will only remind me of how strong I am right now and how strong I will continue to be. It is easy to play the victim, but I refuse to do that. Life is full of wonderful things...and my life will go on! I am to work things out and want to see if we can get thru therapy and become a strong couple. If my January 1st, I do not feel that way...I am out ! Get off the pity pot everyone and empower yourself any way you see fit. Whether it be a tattoo and a martial arts class like me or something else. Just do it !!! Don't feel sorry for yourself as it will not change anything that occurred. We all have the power to do and be anything we want. What happen can change you in a positive way or a negative way. You have the power !!!!

Posts: 127 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have 2 already. A dolphin jumping through waves on my back. I got it right after my first divorce. It symbolizes my freedom. Three yrs ago, unknown to me but during his A, he went me while I got the Florida gator fat head on my ankle. It was about my love of my home state, my love of my my favorite football team and my family that still lives there. Plus, I was pissed at him at the time and he hates the Gators. So that was an added bonus at the time. I love all my tattoos!!! I have my next on ready, just need to find the time to get it and decide where I want it. It is pretty basic. It is the words; faith, trust, love, hope and family written in cursive making up the outline of a heart with some tribal designs coming off of it. He wants one, has for yrs, but doesn't know what he wants...I'm thinking I like the idea of the band on his finger.

As for tattoos hurting. My first on I was so scared (this chic hates needles) that at first I thought I was dying. However, once I relaxed it was OK. No worse than scratches. The second one, I sat and watched the whole thing. It was pretty cool to watch and I didn't feel a thing. But I hear it depends on pain tolerance, OK...but I don't handle pain at all, and location you are having tattooed.

Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one who saw this and thought of the revenge scene in Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? Make waywards tattoo their torso with "if you are seeing this I am a cheating lying rat bastard"? Please don't anyone think I'm serious. It just popped in my head when I saw the post title.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller

Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
♀ Member
Member # 34926
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH and I got matching tattoos shortly after D-day. It was a design that I sketched that encompasses the Chinese Longevity symbol, the Infinity sign, the Egyptian Ankh, and linked wedding rings inside of a heart. It sort of gives the impression of a tribal style tattoo and the heart itself is very subtle (so it is not girly). It's meant to symbolize the rebirth of our relationship and marriage to become eternal partners. It's meant a lot to us.


Posts: 292 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Utah
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am considering getting one now. No one that knows me would ever believe I would do it. I've been looking at various versions of the celtic maid-mother-crone symbol. It is for me and has nothing to do with X or infidelity. It's all a part of finding myself again after so many years of being a wife and mother.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5329 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 37645
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH & I got matching tattoos after DD. I was designing my next one when I found out. I set it aside to deal with my pain. I then decided to continue with my design & have it done. It's an infinity symbol with the words Love, Life, Faith, Trust intertwined in the symbol. When I showed him my design he loved it so much he decided to join me. We have it on our chest over our hearts with both our names. To me it signified our renewed love for each other & a fresh start. A little joy in a crappy situation. I love it & have had no regrets almost 10 months into this. We're gonna do this.

BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time

Posts: 235 | Registered: Nov 2012
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was about five days after my D-Day when I got my tattoo (probably not the best time to make such permanent decisions). On my left inside wrist, I got the sheet music for the first two bars of "Man of Constant Sorrow". I considered it to be for my grief over The Princess' cheating, and also me embracing the major depression I've suffered from for decades.

A couple months after moving out, I got one on my inside right ankle that has a treble clef and three eighth notes. Just to show how much my music has helped me to get past all this. My sister suggested that the three notes could represent my two sons and me. I like that.

Also, they just look cool!

The Princess, on the other hand, went to a piercing place with her new boyfriend and had her ear cartilage pierced. She wore it for two months through the pain before she had her mom and dad take it out for her. Turns out it was badly infected. She was poking at it that night, and sprayed the mirror with puss! When our oldest son told me about this, I couldn't have been happier. That's just a tiny bit of the rotten trying to escape from her body!

[This message edited by pass at 10:23 PM, August 8th (Thursday)]

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2144 | Registered: Jan 2013
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't read this without thinking humorous thoughts.

Not really all that funny, but in my profession people are always talking about having "NO CPR" tattooed on their chest (nobody ever does it though).

But, after this experience and the hell it was....

All I could only think of on appropriate tattoo and that was having


tattooed on my chest in big block letters.



on my back.

BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 1020 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For awhile I was obsessed with scarification. I wanted one that looked like a wild animal had raked it's claw over my heart. Three remind myself three strikes. See, after the 1A, I did my best to follow our then MC's advice and "forgive and forget". The pain became disguised as chronic depression and I convinced myself it was just me. After all, the bad part of our M where my H thought he was in love with my friend was "just a blip that made us stronger" right? So when the pain of d-day for the 2A hit, I began remembering how much it hurt. It hurt like hell when I found an email our first year of M to some random woman "I love you @>---->-------" It nearly killed me when he told me he was in love with xOw1. I didn't want to forget if it ever happened again like I had before.

I now know I won't. Because this time I haven't buried it- as much. I am facing it bite by bite, with or without MrH. I don't need a destructive symbol to remind myself he's used all his chances and then some. Next time, I will leave- pain, desperation, won't matter. I will walk away because of the scars over my heart. They don't need to be visible like I thought they should be after d-day.

For a time I wanted a cross or hopeful message on my wrist to remind myself not to slice it open; later when I started cutting to not cut.

Instead, I got a cliche. I have a simple phoenix on my left shoulder. My name IRL has a meaning that includes "fire" and was often my nickname growing up. Eventually it became a version of phoenix, even before d-day. So it was natural that's what I would get. I looked at the design I had picked, and while I prefer clean, simple tats, I wanted color too. So I added reds, oranges and yellows to the head and wings. It fits because they have a spiky, almost flame shape. The tail is curled like waves and blues and white. I didn't plan it, but to me it represents trail by fire that is quenched by the Living Water.

It's me, it's mine. I was on the other side of the country from MrH when I got it. It's not's my past, future and faith.

I still want another. There's an author that has a beautiful bracelet tat that reads "Redeemed" and I would love something like that. It's bad form to copy custom tats though. I want it to remind me of where my strength has come from in those moments when a voice has told me to just cut...I was unwanted anyhow. I didn't need to shed my blood. I am wanted so much, blood was already shed for me.

Given how emotional that will be, I need to make sure it's a design that I won't mind looking at when I'm 70.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11237 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
♀ New Member
Member # 40248
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After my first husband and I divorced after his incessant cheating, I got a tattoo. It is wing... kinda like a TinkerBell wing... and it says "Alis volat propriis." It's Latin for "She flies by her own wings."

"What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"

Me: FWS/BW from 1st marriage
Him: BS, fabulous love of my life
Us: Reconciled with struggles

Posts: 6 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 39387
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got an Infinity heart on my stomach 2 months after dday. Not because I thought I would be with H forever (although I do hope for that). But I got it because it was a permanent reminder to myself that I was forever deserving, forever worth it.

Ugh! Sometimes reality sucks.
BS (me) 31
WH (him) 33
OW - married Bar Whore Rig Rat
Married 14 years
3 amazing kids
DDay-3/03/2013 TT.The whole truth came out(hopefully) 06/09/2013
Currently on the roller coaster of R.

Posts: 48 | Registered: May 2013
♀ Member
Member # 37255
Default  Posted: 3:44 AM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got a tattoo to remind me of what I have learned it says love all trust a few do wrong to know one its a reminder of one I need to follow

3 awesome kids

Posts: 179 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: My own nightmare
♀ Member
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always wanted one but never knew what until after Dday. 1yr after Dday I got one on the inside of my wrist. 3 birds to symbolize me and my two kids. When I'm struggling I look at it and it reminds me that I'm working to better myself and my kids. The problem tho is every time someone asks the meaning and I tell them they always say wheres the one for your H. I just smile and say that's bad luck! Maybe one day I'll add him but for now it's me and my kids!

Posts: 282 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ Member
Member # 29137
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have a tattoo, however, my fWH sat with an artist and had a large tattoo done on his chest, over his heart, about 6 months post d-day. The tattoo is the yin/yang symbol, with a red/white koi (aka lipstick fish) swimming (upstream), encircling the y/y symbol.

Whenever I feel down, all I need to do is look at that beautiful piece of art. No doubt, it's been a long road to get here.... Hugs to all and wishing healing thoughts.

Me - BS, 49
Him - WH, 49
Married 19yrs
D-Day, 5/29/10
1st A - EA/PA, 1998-2003(??) Long Distance
2nd A - PA, 2003-2004(??) Local

"You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul"

Posts: 189 | Registered: Jul 2010
Topic Posts: 35
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.