Life has been a bitch this summer, but I've had some really good stuff to go with the horrible experience of losing my dad a month ago. I finally got my mom moved out of the nursing home and in with me & the Bear last week and she's doing soooo much better. I feel way better having her here with me/us. I am somewhat OCD about taking care of her, (she has dementia) and with her in my home - I can finally relax a little and not worry so much.
Having to put her in the nursing home for a short PT/therapy stay after my father's death just about killed me. Plus, I found dimes everywhere until I got her home. I googled the phenomena and I have no doubt it was my dad sending word that he was with us, and he wanted me to get mom home.
On another front.....life with the Bear couldn't be better. Seriously. This man walked into my life when I was in the middle of the shit storm from hell, and he's not only hung in there - he's been truly amazing. He made the box that has my dad's ashes in it (it's awesome, and exactly what we envisioned). He is the kind of guy that loves to keep busy tinkering around, and God knows I needed someone like that!
I'm slowly relaxing and (*gasp*) trusting the whole idea that I can depend on him. If he says he'll take care of something - it gets done. If he sees something that needs to be done - it gets done. If I ask him to do something (once) - it gets done.
WTF? Am I dreaming?
When it got to the point where my daughter & I were having to take shifts to care for my father, I wasn't home very much and my mind was (obviously) NOT focused on the Bear. I fully expected him to gently extract himself and move on because, quite frankly, it was a horrendous experience. We couldn't find nursing help, except for the 1 hour a day that the nurse from Hospice came in to deal with stuff we couldn't.
He took care of my place, helped with my dad where he could, let me cry on his shoulder, and just let it be what it was going to be. And when it was over, he was here to hold me. He didn't try to fix the unfixable, but when we needed him he was there within minutes.
I didn't know that it was possible to have so many bad things going on, and yet so many good things too.
This morning the Bear found a dime in his shoe. I think my dad approves.
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
your post gives me hope and makes me smile for you.
my mum has dementia too. I understand.
big hugs to you and a high five.
things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.
That is wonderful though that you have a lovely man in your life that seems to be there for you when you need him. And also glad you have your mom close. And the dime story is interesting, I hadn't heard that before.....
But....the Bear hung in there. He never pushed, but he was always there. He'd ask me to go do something, I'd decline because I didn't think it was the right time to start something and then have zero time to spend on a new partner....and he'd back off and ask again a couple of weeks later.
He finally wore me down. I did explain why I was so reluctant to date him (I was attracted to him from the start), and he told me not to worry about that. We'd been shooting pool in the same tournaments for months, and he said he had a pretty good idea of who I was based on that, and he wasn't going to give up on me.
He's a BS too, and we had already talked about a lot of our pasts before we ever went out. Weird....after all the time I spent OLD and "nexting" about a dozen+ men, I found a great guy shooting pool in a biker bar. I wasn't even looking at the time. Who woulda thunk it? I love this man, and I have NO doubt he feels the same way about me. We just "get" each other. We were both raised on ranches, love to ride motorcycles and horses, shoot pool, and he's a "family first" kind of person too.
The dime thing was weird. I didn't pay much attention at first, but after the first dozen or so in a day, it got my attention. A FB peep told me to google it, so I did.
Now that I've got my mom home, and my dad's ashes are in that awesome box here in my home, the dimes have quit appearing (except in the Bear's shoe this morning). I have no doubt those dimes are from my dad. I found about $20 worth in less than a week, and that just NEVER happens by chance. It's very comforting in an odd sort of way.
When I made the decision to leave ex, I pulled into my garage, got out of the car, checked the mail, and then came back into the house walking through the garage...and walked right through a cloud of cigar smoke. I knew my Dad was letting me know he was there.
Glad you found a good man.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
WTF? Am I dreaming?
Thanks for checking in((hugs))
Sooooo happy for you and your new relationship! Wonderful. I love that you met him while you were just living and enjoying your life.