Thank you everyone for the continued feedback. Sorry I have not replied sooner.
I doubt there is a good time to discover these things but my timing is probably the worst. I first confronted my wife a week and half before my parents came over to visit us (I am from the UK originally). I finally found out the full extent (the sex) of her affair on the night we went to a shore town for a week. So the past week has been me, my wife, the kids and my parents living in a condo together. Tense to say the least.
Things have gotten so strained and she has made it clear there is no hope of a reconciliation, so I am in get out mode right now. I am trying to be smart about it and I want to maximize my outcome. I am gonna setup an appointment with a lawyer on Monday. I have an initial consulation with a therapist of my own on Tuesday.
I am gonna go to the therapist with her on Thursday. I figure I have nothing to lose and I want to figure out what the hell she has been saying and what the therapist has been saying in response.
Someone suggetsed telling everyone about the affair, her colleagues, family etc. I am really tempted to do this but it feels chidlish and petty. It would give me short term pleasure but I dont see how it benefits me in the long run. I am also reluctant to harm the relationship with my kids mother. I guess if someone can give me a good reason why this would benefit me, I would be all ears!