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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What are you afraid of
♀ Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what?
I was thinking what to answer but I just realized that...
I don't think I am afraid anymore.
Because I am a survivor and that if he EVER strayed again, I would hand him his shoes.
Just knowing that, empowers me.

This ^^^^^^

Although I wouldn't hand him his shoes.... I'd hand him the back of my sweet ass.... as it walks genteelly away from him

I have no fear now and am glad I decided to R as I have no regrets and have a shiny new contrite and remorseful man to show for my troubles.

The man he was pre and during A? You can keep that asshole but this man- the fabulous H he has become? This H doesn't give me any cause to fear.

Hopefully you will be where I am one day and feel no fear.

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

Posts: 1583 | Registered: Jul 2009
♀ Member
Member # 37683
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks to those of you who showed us that we can move away from our fears and live in today. Living a fear filled life is horrible and I don't want to do it anymore.

For me I have needed to recognize what I am afraid of, look it straight in the eyes and know that I want to live a life filled with love instead of fear.

Again, thanks to everyone for sharing.

Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"

Posts: 301 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Missouri
♂ Member
Member # 32232
Default  Posted: 6:08 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Snakes and clowns. After more than one DDay and 3 years of healing myself and ditching my co-dependant ways, I'm not afraid of anything as far as my M or my relationship with my wife goes.
That being said, if she woke me up dressed as a clown, holding a snake, there would be a incident.

Posts: 718 | Registered: May 2011
♀ Member
Member # 37243
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Gipper-that made me laugh. Needed that this morning

BW- Me 35 & WH- Him 38
OW- My BFF for 25 years
DDay- 6/28/12 Final truth- 7/28/12
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”

Posts: 177 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ Member
Member # 38591
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never being "me" again.

D-DAY -22ND OCT 2012

Posts: 71 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: uk
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am well past the fear stage. In the early days, I feared wasting my time. Eventually, I came to accept that trying to put the pieces back together wasn't a "waste" of my time. If my kids were worth trying for, then it wasn't a waste.

I never feared "losing" him. Lord, I often wished he'd just go and stop being so dogged about staying together so I could go on my merry way.

Like others, if it happens again, he gets his walking papers. Game over. I think I would heal and move on quite quickly. Which is hard to explain, because while I love him deeply and am invested in my marriage, I could also readily move on if he were to betray me again. Perhaps this is just differentiation at work. I'm healthy - with or without him.

Him WH
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ Member
Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My biggest fear is that he would do it again and if he did do it again, fully now knowing the agonizing pain an affair causes--well, that would make him a heartless monster--I don't think I could survive the pain again honestly.

BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 778 | Registered: Jan 2011
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

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