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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When WS leaves for AP...how long after Dday?
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She left the next day. Moved in with him. She had met him a week and a half earlier.

We're divorced. She has made a few pitiful efforts to be friends. I'd rather make out with a septic tank.


Posts: 1653 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD OWUglyIndian lives in London. She dumped him after a few weeks.

Then I was stupid enough to go into False R.

That lasted 3m then 20 weeks after S this 40 y/o loser told me he was ready to introduce 24 year old office gopher/prior OW (I had no idea, I trusted her taste more than I trusted his fidelity) to my then 2 and almost 5 year olds as his GF.

AFAIK they are still together. I give it 2-5 years as that is his usual MO.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5531 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
debbysbaby
♀ Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Immediately. Poopsmear never came home after dday. He and twatsmudge married immediately after the divorce. They're still together 8+ years later though it is rocky. They're both so dysfunctional I suspect they'll carry on this way for many more years.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 858 | Registered: Aug 2011
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 12:44 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left the day after d-day. He would have left the day of, but I made him stay and he slept on the couch. I don't know what made me think I had ANY control at that point.

That was over 4 years ago and they are still together and, from all accounts, living happily ever after.

[This message edited by Griefstricken25 at 12:45 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2504 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Fooled Me Twice
♀ Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EXWH left in Oct 2011 to move to a friends place that they were not using. (After we had just spent a week vacation with my family - he was on his phone a lot, I thought for work - little did I know!) This was because we were "having problems" and he told me it would only be for a few weeks at most. (My DD was not even a year old at this time and I was a stay at home mom).

I became increasingly suspicious by December. (Though we went to marriage counseling a few times he was not sure if he wanted to work on the marriage or not - was increasingly angry with me and picking fights etc)

He moved home in January bc the lease was up on the apt and the friend was not renewing - he considered leasing it himself month to month but in the end came home.

Literally the next morning I found the receipts where he was taking OW out for dates.

Within 2 hours I packed mine and DD's stuff up and left to be with family.

He moved in with her at her condo in March and they just bought a sfh together in June.

[This message edited by Fooled Me Twice at 6:43 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
LadyQ
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After almost 18 months of trying to reconcile (yeah, I know, wtf was I thinking??). I told him I was done. He moved out shortly thereafter (a week or so?). He's currently introducing the first AP I knew about as his "new girlfriend", and as she informed me via text, they ARE going to be together and they ARE going to be happy, I just need to learn to be mature about it.

I don't think he maintained contact with her after I confronted him in either 2004 or 2005. But he knew she was easy and he could get his wick dipped, so why not her. She's as good a hole as any, right??

So, I don't know that he technically left for her. Hell, he didn't technically leave, I kicked him out !


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Linus1968
♂ Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW called divorce, then the next day told me about an affair (found out later about another). 6 weeks later, a man was hanging out with WW and my kids. I think he was around before the break up, but...hell, who knows, and honestly, who cares.
Anyway, they started living together on the weekends I had the kids, then got pregnant, then it turned full time.
Still trying to get paperwork, but still married. Going for a lawyer next. Need money now. Man, this pisses me off.
Sorry about the tangent.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 238 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
crazynot
♀ Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

9 months... some of which was hellish false R pretence... since then, three months of hell, then I decided to make a fresh start. Yesterday was our 28th wedding anniversary and we spent it together with our son. I don't love him any more but I have great affection for him. He IS with OW, who I really believe, in spite of all our years together, is his soul-mate. And I have found mine.

I suspect what you were hoping to hear here was that affairs always end in breakups... but they don't. It would be much easier for my grownup kids if WH would split with OW (who they knew, and will have nothing to do with)... but it's not going to happen, I think.

Sometimes them leaving is the best thing because it FORCES you to turn your heart away from them...

There's a future out there, there really is.


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 859 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left on Dday.

They lasted 3 weeks.

She then dumped him when he hesitated and considered R. She was sleeping with another guy within 2 weeks. He was devastated, poor thing.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We separated a few weeks after DDay and false R. I have no idea whether the A is still going on or not. Ex says it isn't but I understandably don't believe anything he says.

Me: BS 35
Him: WS 35
DS 3.5
DD 16 months
DDay 27/01/2013
False R 04/02/2013
S 20/02/2013
EA turned PA sometime before Feb 2012


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
luv2swim
♀ Member
Member # 13154
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dday was the date he moved in with OW. They have been together now for over 7 years. They married about 18 months after our divorce.


Me: BS
Him: NPD WS
Married 24 years
incredible kids
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married 2011

Posts: 351 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He moved out one night blaming me (I was clueless about A at this time). I grew suspicious but couldn't figure out the "who". Was finally told it was my FRIEND by someone who saw them together!

I immed offered him 24 hours to come clean, get counseling, etc. He gaslighted, I filed and it shocked the HELL out of him when he was served!!!! still laugh about it!

They are together now - 18 months after d day,, but my source tells me that they have heard she is miserable, thinks my XWH is an idiot (I agree with her), and she never stopped sleeping with another married man that she's been with since April of 2010!!!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2049 | Registered: Jan 2012
foxglove
♀ Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We attempted to reconcile for about 2 months after dday when I found out about continued contact with OW. I filed for divorce and he continued to go back and forth between my house and hers. He would live at my house during the week and go and spend weekends with her. After the divorce was final, he moved in with her.

They were together for 4 years, but not happy years, because, of course, she was bat shit crazy and kept him on a very short leash.


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1452 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
TXBW68
♀ Member
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left 3 weeks after I found out about #4 but we were not trying to R during that time. He wanted to stay until school was out in June. I couldn't stand it that long so he left.

That was April 29th. They continued their long-distance thing until September. They only physically saw each other for one business week in July. He told me that the break-up was mutual. She started the conversation and he finished it. He had realized that it was all fantasy bullshit.

We started dating again in November but I wasn't told about the break-up timeline/details until December. He moved home in February after a 10 month separation. We are solidly in R.


Me (45) WH (42),2 boys 14 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 784 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He left 10 days after Dday. I thought it was temporary, but he never came back. Left all his stuff here and ran away like a coward. Turns out OW was pregnant and he wanted to be with her.

He moved in with her. They lasted until right after the baby's first birthday. She kicked him out. That was almost 2 years ago.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2214 | Registered: Feb 2010
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nearly Exh was already living with AP prior to Dday.

He abandoned us before we knew about Floozy and tried to hide her and make it about the marriage, how awful I was, instead of the cheating. He rewrites the events and things in his mind, but many people find strong disagreement with his views and even there are pictures showing him differently than his descriptions. Coping mechanism?

He also worked hard to not get caught, but it was Floozy herself who outed him. It was a little weird because he kept his life with her secret but didn't return home, prolonging the agony until outside sources (relatives) changed the course of what was to be.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2197 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Feeling Consumed
♀ Member
Member # 30592
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kicked him out on dday 2.5 years ago and he never looked back. They both made off like they just started dating AFTER they were separated from their spouses, but uhhhhhh - so not true. They were having a co-worker EA for years, maybe even PA. They just bought a house together as joint tenants, not married though.


Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11

"Obladi oblada life goes on...."


Posts: 344 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Wisconsin
FieldsOfLavender
♀ Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ex tried to stay with me and wanted me to be OK with the AP being in his life.

At the beginning, he said she was just a friend and he wanted to keep the status quo - a stable family at home and a whore on sexchat call with dinner and movies on Friday nights.

It took 13 months after I confronted stbx fucker before he moved out. We signed the separation agreement in June which he had backdated to March. Whore is due in early 2014.


Posts: 190 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 1:57 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I moved to my Dads house to give her 'space to think' two days after D day. 5 weeks later I realised I was being played and moved back in. She moved in with him and took my kids one week later. She now won't even talk to me.


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now pregnant
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 657 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
MelisssaZZZ
♀ Member
Member # 25953
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well, DD was march 2009. we (or more precisely I) tried to reconcile for year and a half.

i kicked him out (as clearly he was not reconciling, i was still terrible and he was missing her and once in a while they were in contact) in jan 2011.

they are fully together since then and are happy (accoording to him).

he was hiding the fact they were together for a long time, but not anymore.

so, yes they sometimes do stay together and sometimes are happy.


Me BS - 37
WH 39
1 child - 5yrs
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
LTA (2 yrs) fully?? finished mid Aug 09
Status: Divorced Oct 2011

Posts: 1220 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: London, UK
Topic Posts: 55
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