Topic: When WS leaves for AP...how long after Dday?
Member # 36697
| Posted: 7:56 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013|
She left the next day. Moved in with him. She had met him a week and a half earlier.
We're divorced. She has made a few pitiful efforts to be friends. I'd rather make out with a septic tank.
Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
Member # 35229
| Posted: 9:42 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013|
DD OWUglyIndian lives in London. She dumped him after a few weeks.
Then I was stupid enough to go into False R.
That lasted 3m then 20 weeks after S this 40 y/o loser told me he was ready to introduce 24 year old office gopher/prior OW (I had no idea, I trusted her taste more than I trusted his fidelity) to my then 2 and almost 5 year olds as his GF.
AFAIK they are still together. I give it 2-5 years as that is his usual MO.
Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
Posts: 4570 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 32962
| Posted: 9:45 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013|
Immediately. Poopsmear never came home after dday. He and twatsmudge married immediately after the divorce. They're still together 8+ years later though it is rocky. They're both so dysfunctional I suspect they'll carry on this way for many more years.
-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004
Posts: 783 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 29183
| Posted: 12:44 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
He left the day after d-day. He would have left the day of, but I made him stay and he slept on the couch. I don't know what made me think I had ANY control at that point.
That was over 4 years ago and they are still together and, from all accounts, living happily ever after.
[This message edited by Griefstricken25 at 12:45 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011
Posts: 2498 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
|Fooled Me Twice|
Member # 34824
| Posted: 6:38 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
EXWH left in Oct 2011 to move to a friends place that they were not using. (After we had just spent a week vacation with my family - he was on his phone a lot, I thought for work - little did I know!) This was because we were "having problems" and he told me it would only be for a few weeks at most. (My DD was not even a year old at this time and I was a stay at home mom).
I became increasingly suspicious by December. (Though we went to marriage counseling a few times he was not sure if he wanted to work on the marriage or not - was increasingly angry with me and picking fights etc)
He moved home in January bc the lease was up on the apt and the friend was not renewing - he considered leasing it himself month to month but in the end came home.
Literally the next morning I found the receipts where he was taking OW out for dates.
Within 2 hours I packed mine and DD's stuff up and left to be with family.
He moved in with her at her condo in March and they just bought a sfh together in June.
[This message edited by Fooled Me Twice at 6:43 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]
ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013
Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
Member # 32847
| Posted: 7:13 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
After almost 18 months of trying to reconcile (yeah, I know, wtf was I thinking??). I told him I was done. He moved out shortly thereafter (a week or so?). He's currently introducing the first AP I knew about as his "new girlfriend", and as she informed me via text, they ARE going to be together and they ARE going to be happy, I just need to learn to be mature about it.
I don't think he maintained contact with her after I confronted him in either 2004 or 2005. But he knew she was easy and he could get his wick dipped, so why not her. She's as good a hole as any, right??
So, I don't know that he technically left for her. Hell, he didn't technically leave, I kicked him out !
Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...
Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 31243
| Posted: 7:22 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
My WW called divorce, then the next day told me about an affair (found out later about another). 6 weeks later, a man was hanging out with WW and my kids. I think he was around before the break up, but...hell, who knows, and honestly, who cares.
Anyway, they started living together on the weekends I had the kids, then got pregnant, then it turned full time.
Still trying to get paperwork, but still married. Going for a lawyer next. Need money now. Man, this pisses me off.
Sorry about the tangent.
You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 15, D:13
I'm the one who has to file after 4 years of S and empty promises she is...
Posts: 189 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my STBX is the mayor (FL)
Member # 24572
| Posted: 11:14 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
9 months... some of which was hellish false R pretence... since then, three months of hell, then I decided to make a fresh start. Yesterday was our 28th wedding anniversary and we spent it together with our son. I don't love him any more but I have great affection for him. He IS with OW, who I really believe, in spite of all our years together, is his soul-mate. And I have found mine.
I suspect what you were hoping to hear here was that affairs always end in breakups... but they don't. It would be much easier for my grownup kids if WH would split with OW (who they knew, and will have nothing to do with)... but it's not going to happen, I think.
Sometimes them leaving is the best thing because it FORCES you to turn your heart away from them...
There's a future out there, there really is.
Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
Posts: 800 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
Member # 23890
| Posted: 11:24 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
He left on Dday.
They lasted 3 weeks.
She then dumped him when he hesitated and considered R. She was sleeping with another guy within 2 weeks. He was devastated, poor thing.
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?
Posts: 4099 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Member # 38424
| Posted: 12:31 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
We separated a few weeks after DDay and false R. I have no idea whether the A is still going on or not. Ex says it isn't but I understandably don't believe anything he says.
Me: BS 35
Him: WS 35
DD 16 months
False R 04/02/2013
EA turned PA sometime before Feb 2012
Posts: 433 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Member # 13154
| Posted: 12:34 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
Dday was the date he moved in with OW. They have been together now for over 7 years. They married about 18 months after our divorce.
Him: NPD WS
Married 24 years
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
WS + OW: Married 2011
Posts: 340 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
Member # 34678
| Posted: 12:41 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
He moved out one night blaming me (I was clueless about A at this time). I grew suspicious but couldn't figure out the "who". Was finally told it was my FRIEND by someone who saw them together!
I immed offered him 24 hours to come clean, get counseling, etc. He gaslighted, I filed and it shocked the HELL out of him when he was served!!!! still laugh about it!
They are together now - 18 months after d day,, but my source tells me that they have heard she is miserable, thinks my XWH is an idiot (I agree with her), and she never stopped sleeping with another married man that she's been with since April of 2010!!!
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Posts: 1715 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 21791
| Posted: 12:50 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
We attempted to reconcile for about 2 months after dday when I found out about continued contact with OW. I filed for divorce and he continued to go back and forth between my house and hers. He would live at my house during the week and go and spend weekends with her. After the divorce was final, he moved in with her.
They were together for 4 years, but not happy years, because, of course, she was bat shit crazy and kept him on a very short leash.
Married 21 years
Two sons 21 and 23 in college
Posts: 1434 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
Member # 36456
| Posted: 1:29 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
He left 3 weeks after I found out about #4 but we were not trying to R during that time. He wanted to stay until school was out in June. I couldn't stand it that long so he left.
That was April 29th. They continued their long-distance thing until September. They only physically saw each other for one business week in July. He told me that the break-up was mutual. She started the conversation and he finished it. He had realized that it was all fantasy bullshit.
We started dating again in November but I wasn't told about the break-up timeline/details until December. He moved home in February after a 10 month separation. We are solidly in R.
Me (45) WH (42),2 boys 14 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now
Posts: 781 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Member # 27544
| Posted: 3:12 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
He left 10 days after Dday. I thought it was temporary, but he never came back. Left all his stuff here and ran away like a coward. Turns out OW was pregnant and he wanted to be with her.
He moved in with her. They lasted until right after the baby's first birthday. She kicked him out. That was almost 2 years ago.
Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.
Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010
Member # 38378
| Posted: 5:10 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
Nearly Exh was already living with AP prior to Dday.
He abandoned us before we knew about Floozy and tried to hide her and make it about the marriage, how awful I was, instead of the cheating. He rewrites the events and things in his mind, but many people find strong disagreement with his views and even there are pictures showing him differently than his descriptions. Coping mechanism?
He also worked hard to not get caught, but it was Floozy herself who outed him. It was a little weird because he kept his life with her secret but didn't return home, prolonging the agony until outside sources (relatives) changed the course of what was to be.
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 30592
| Posted: 6:36 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
Kicked him out on dday 2.5 years ago and he never looked back. They both made off like they just started dating AFTER they were separated from their spouses, but uhhhhhh - so not true. They were having a co-worker EA for years, maybe even PA. They just bought a house together as joint tenants, not married though.
Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11
"Obladi oblada life goes on...."
Posts: 344 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Wisconsin
Member # 39154
| Posted: 9:40 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013|
Ex tried to stay with me and wanted me to be OK with the AP being in his life.
At the beginning, he said she was just a friend and he wanted to keep the status quo - a stable family at home and a whore on sexchat call with dinner and movies on Friday nights.
It took 13 months after I confronted stbx fucker before he moved out. We signed the separation agreement in June which he had backdated to March. Whore is due in early 2014.
Posts: 183 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
Member # 38923
| Posted: 1:57 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013|
I moved to my Dads house to give her 'space to think' two days after D day. 5 weeks later I realised I was being played and moved back in. She moved in with him and took my kids one week later. She now won't even talk to me.
Together 19 years
Married for 9
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now pregnant
Divorced April 2014
Posts: 527 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Member # 25953
| Posted: 4:41 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013|
well, DD was march 2009. we (or more precisely I) tried to reconcile for year and a half.
i kicked him out (as clearly he was not reconciling, i was still terrible and he was missing her and once in a while they were in contact) in jan 2011.
they are fully together since then and are happy (accoording to him).
he was hiding the fact they were together for a long time, but not anymore.
so, yes they sometimes do stay together and sometimes are happy.
Me BS - 37
1 child - 4yrs
married 5 yrs, together 7
DD1 midmarch 09
DD2 early june 09
some more DD's of course - cannot bother to list
LTA (2 yrs) fully?? finished mid Aug 09
Status: Divorced Oct 2011
Posts: 1199 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: London, UK
|Topic Posts: 55|