So firstly I want to say …This is really an exciting time in my life being that it is a new beginning and all. Not to be overly metaphysical here, but I have always been one to live in the moment and feel the past is just that…the past. The future…well that is something that just does not exist, but something that I look forward to because quite frankly…I have always enjoyed life to the fullest and the alternative, just doesn't interest me. I have had my dark moments (why else would I have found SI) but truly, I have found that being happy or not is a choice and I find that being unhappy sucks so….
I was thinking about this NB section last night and thought…we in this position can look at the negatives of it all OR realize what an opportunity this actually can be. A new beginning…that is a remarkable thing. I have friends on the wrong side of the grass that I know would love to have just one day of that opportunity. Another chance…I do like that.
So, I am really enjoying myself these days. I live in the moment and I don’t expect or expect anything from anyone else or my circumstance but accept what is…and that seems to be working just fine. I have decided to let go of all the waste of time and energy crap such as blame and guilt and why did this and why is this happening to me and…well the shit. It really is working…hope it still does when the booze and drugs and current psychosis wears off. This is where I would have put one of those goofy laughing icons but I hate them...the end.
[This message edited by asurvivor at 3:44 PM, August 11th (Sunday)]
I'm learning to live in the present and it's been a learning experience for sure.
I was surprised how many people envy me and the freedom to start over and live for myself again.
I don't like not having another person to discuss decisions and to just share day to day activities. I am starting over in so many ways and that is scary when you are already 57. I had to find new goals and lifestyle.
Enjoy your new path asurviver !
I have decided to let go of all the waste of time and energy crap such as blame and guilt and why did this and why is this happening to me and…well the shit.
^^^It's a wonderful present you're making to yourself. Enjoy!
[This message edited by burnt_toast at 4:55 PM, August 11th (Sunday)]
It's a wonderful present you're making to yourself. Enjoy! ]
Not to mention to my 15 year old and friends and any new people I happen to meet. Positive vibrations attract. Negative ones are...well they are negative.
(Ok, grammar nerd moment, used there, they're and their in the same sentence.)
I agree with looking at this new beginning as a positive thing, full of opportunities. Personally, I think dwelling in the negative is just too exhausting, and nobody likes hanging around negative people. Your attitude is a lot healthier.
we in this position can look at the negatives of it all OR realize what an opportunity this actually can be
Now, I am so much more comfortable with me and being in the present. I look forward to the future, but I'm not trying to rush it...I don't like the painful moments, but I understand that I can learn from them and just "be" in them too. This time of "single-ness" has really been a gift.
(Your booze and drugs and psychosis comment made me Yep,I'm ornery)