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User Topic: Ode to the Other Woman
sleepless34
♀ Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There was a middle aged man who felt bad about himself.
He needed an ego boost, someone to be attracted to him, to make him feel good about himself.
To fill a gap in his life.
You said you could "add" something special to his life.
Enlighten him, Fulfill him in ways he needed.
Introduce him to a delusional fantasy world where he gets everything he wants. He gets You, me, your husband - Adding more love. What a fantasy!
That gap however is in his soul, the gap is how worthless he feels about himself.
You thought you had the best of him, but really you were accepting the worst of him.
His lies, his deception, his neediness.
To fill the horrible gap in yourself, you were searching for something too.
Something your "enlightened" lifestyle doesn't and won't ever provide you.
You fool yourself into thinking you are strong and secure; but inside you feel worthless, unlovable, weak, pathetic.
I asked him what you "Added" to his life exactly and he couldn't answer it.
You are weak and injured and selfish and narsisstic and stupid.
The only one with worse self esteem than him is you.

I could see it in your eyes when you had the sick need to come into my house to meet me before I knew about all this.
You came to size me up.
But when you left, you knew and I knew the status of the other,
you don't compare to me, you knew I was a better woman than you would ever be.
And maybe then was the moment you realized how pathetic and cheap and typical your affair was.
He doesn't really love you.
It was sex and excitement and neediness and trying to fill your mutual insecurity.
And If you truly loved him, you wouldn't have let him risk the rest of his life.Rip apart a family. Two little kids.
Now the life he knew was over.
And the life you knew was over.
You might think you will have a life with him because he can't repair what he did to our family.
But he will only realize how horribly he down graded to you,
and resent you,
and hate you for all he lost.
And then you both have nothing.
but especially you.


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you just step into our life? How do you know so much about my WH and his OW? Seriously, I could have written this. Oh. My. Word. Thank you for your uncanny insight.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1458 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love the part about getting the worst part of him.

I feel that way. Its where the great mind fuck is in all of this. WH appeared to be giving his best to OW but she was getting him at the lowest, dirtiest point in his life. She got nothing but a hairy worm.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our adult daughters told me, "We got the best of him; she gets the worst of him along with the 'caretaking' years." And they were / are right. The man he has lowered himself to become isn't much of a prize. The bimbo gets the liar and the thief.... oh, wait ! XH got the same thing in her ! Justice served ? !


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 460 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very nice! I especially love the part about

You thought you had the best of him, but really you were accepting the worst of him

That is very true,I never really thought of that before. Thank you for posting this.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
pewpewpew
♀ Member
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You nailed it.


ME: 30
WH: 35

Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.


Posts: 310 | Registered: Jan 2013
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah!!! I'm going to print that out.

Posts: 616 | Registered: Sep 2012
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bravo!


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
sleepless34
♀ Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The weird thing is that it is so common. I thought this situation was so incredulous that it could be a book or a movie. I can't believe it has happened to so many people out there. It makes me sad for humanity. People are capable of being so selfish and of hurting the ones they love so deeply. I feel pretty much nothing for him now. All the posters seem ready to want the cheater back, for remorse, to get to forgiveness. I just feel nothing for him. I don't think I could love him again. Ever. The trust is gone. I don't think there is ever any going back. He was with someone else for 1.5 years. He lied 1000's of times. Every day. He had her come into my house. Meet my children. Had her meet me, before I knew. It was sick sick sick. Even when he finally told me- and he told me in the worst possible way that was all about him and not at all about what was best for me- he was saying he still loved her. He wanted to have us both. Every day I learned something new and disturbing. About this person who I had a great life with, a good marraige, a happy family. I don't even know him. I feel violated. I feel numb. Who else feels just done???


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
ILINIA
♀ Member
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for writing and posting this. It is sad that the details may differ for each A, but the emotions are so similar for every BS.


Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 448 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 10

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