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Newest Member: chewiejax (45435)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Longest time before first date after D
Feeling Consumed
♀ Member
Member # 30592
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not had a date since I separated over 2.5 years ago!! Not even any near-misses. Not one, single solitary guy has even remotely hinted that they would want to go out for a cup of coffee - hell not one guy even hinted they would just want to use me just for sex - and I may be open to being a FWB!!

I've heard many stories from others who had dates even while they were separated, or soon after they divorced, but for me - nada, zilch, not even a wink. I know I'm not a head-turner, but I'm not a stomach-turner either!

So, my question is...how long after your S/D did you start dating? Anyone get back in the saddle after years and years? I'm looking for some hope here!! And yes, I know I need to be happy being by myself and I am happy by myself, but I choose to want to have a mate. That is a normal, human need - companionship. I am independent and I do not NEED anyone, but I sure do WANT someone.

So what's the record for going without a date?


Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11

"Obladi oblada life goes on...."


Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Wisconsin
JessicaFL127
♀ Member
Member # 26864
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't even consider it until nearly 5 years after D. And that was in October 2012, and he cried on the date and I wound up comforting him. Haven't gone on another date since.


BW,32
divorced for 6 years
mom to two awesome boys,10 and 9

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more" -Cath, DCFC

"The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies"


Posts: 1244 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Missouri
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think there is no time limit. I waited 4 years and I wonder now if that was long enough.

A lot in my opinion has to do with your prior experiences, the type of people you meet, how long you were separated, the trauma of the divorce, etc.

You can't wait too long but you can definitely go in too fast.

I was mainly around family and old friends. I focused on what was important to me. It helps because when things come up you are better able to navigate- not perfect but better

Good luck. Going out meeting interesting people is not dating. Start with that and see.


Posts: 1011 | Registered: Jul 2012
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was three years after separation before I was interested in anyone or seeing anyone new.
Other than him I haven't dated it's been 5 yrs now.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20384 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Topic Posts: 4

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