Big hugs girl. I think I know what you are feeling..
I'm sure you remember that my kids had spent time with OW before D-Day and were forced to keep it a secret from me. KIDS SHOULDN'T BE FORCED TO KEEP SECRETS.
And of course they sing like a canary about all their time spent here. BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE HERE.
I think it starts with the little, probably harmless things. Like yeah, why can't I know what you did while you were gone? Why can't I know if you saw your in-laws? Why can't I know if you ate a good breakfast/dinner?
Seeing them keep the little things a secret creeps me the hell out that there are bigger things being hidden that I should know about..
I never found "Son of Sam" newspaper clippings, but my ex was obsessed with Tru TV, Forensic Files, shows about serial killers, etc. If it wasn't ESPN at night, it was a show like that.. Never understood the fascination..
I really wish I had some good advice for you.. Just letting you know I feel your frustration..