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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I really, really resent WH
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, well, I'm very biased towards counseling, but if those are you're only 3 choices, you're right to stay away. Good luck on your search.

fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10357 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I notice your One-Year Antiversary is coming up as well. This has to be a hard time especially. You're doing OK, ItsaClimb, this stuff takes a long time to work through. It must be very painful that he did this 8 years ago and then had you live a lie all that time, when you asked him so many times for the truth. The deception - and in some way the A too because of the deception and the secret between them - went on for 8 years, and you're less than a year out. That's a lot to heal from. Be gentle with yourself. I wish I could give you hugs. We're here for you.

Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hooray for IC!! Hooray for forward thinking! Hooray for personal growth!

Visiting my daughter has become a trial for me - I take tranquilisers, psyche myself up for days beforehand and once I get there I don't leave her house, don't go shopping etc, until it's time to go home. In addition to the triggering, I have never met OW and have this ridiculous, terrifying, fear of bumping into her somewhere.

He can't stand the sight of her now and she does not acknowledge him at all. She has claimed to a mutual colleague (who is a friend of the marriage) that my H "ruined her life" by telling a couple of colleagues about the A (at my insistence) and since then she does not even greet him. So I really have no worries there. Thankfully.

If you had "no worries" then you wouldn't be popping tranquilizers and staying inside daughter's house.

A good IC will have you ship-shape and out shopping for grandbaby in not time.

Keep up the forward motion, ItsaClimb.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
Topic Posts: 23
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