You drew your line in the sand, so follow through or else he will see that he can do what he wants, you'll fuss about it but let it go.
Your value is more than what he's giving you. He's basically making you beg him to stop seeing a prostitute.
Go see a lawyer, see a few. Go to the Healing Library and read BS FAQs #11. Start the 180. It will help you focus on YOU and start the healing process. Go to the Separation/Divorce forum further down on the main page and ask what you need to do to prepare for filing for D. They know what papers you should gather and what you can generally expect. Split your saving and checking in half...protect your money from your WH and his coin operated screw toy. Be sure to ask the lawyer about recovering the funds he's given to her.
Above all, take time for yourself. Know that this is messed up, no matter what mind games he might play.
❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣
I am so sorry he has put you in this position. Please see this thread and get your own things in order:
The STD testing and lawyer visit needs to happen ASAP. It is important you know your legal options right now, in case there are deadlines or if it matters if he files first. And start doing the financials, you are entitled to that money he has wasted on infidelity. Even if you never actually start divorce proceedings, you need to know what your options are and what you are up against. Hopefully being married 30 years will work to your advantage legally.
I also advise seeing a CSAT or trauma specialist for yourself rather than a garden variety IC/MC. This is advanced messed up crap he has placed on you, and you need a pro to help. Don't waste any more effort on him or whether he will decide to do the right thing. Focus on yourself.
Is he so stupid not to realize his little stripper is only there for the $$$? And when she didn't give him sexual advances.....doesn't he realize its because she doesn't want to have sex with him....only get the$$? She will drop hiym in a heartbeat if the $ stops. Hello WS......its her job & way to support herself. And he is probably not the only sucker she is stringing along.
My heart breaks for you & I am so sorry. Please keep us posted. Everyone @ SI is here for you.
Stupid foolish men thinking with their penis. Willing to risk it all for a bimbo
For the decent men out there that rant isn't meant for you. There are some on this forum
He still has the gall to say he hasn't "decided" what to do -give up the crack whore stripper of 4 months to work on our 30 yr marriage
Gently, yes he has decided. He has decided to be with her over his marriage.
By not instilling and committing himself to NC he has made his choice.
Time for you to take care of you. 180 and see an attorney. Get your duck's in a row.
If you continue to allow yourself to be treated as an option, he will continue to treat you as one.
I know this isn't easy but right now the only consequences to your husband's behavior is an upset (understatement, I know) wife.
He is doing what he wants, when he wants. He is cakewalking. Close your bakery.
Be strong. You deserve more. You matter.
Sending hugs and prayers.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go see an attorney, and file for D. It may not be what you want, but you have to protect you. Please don'tlet this idiot back into your bed. YUCK>
You need to go get STD tested right away as well, and then if you are emotionally struggling, it's understandable talk to your Dr about anti anxiety, and antidepressant meds.
I think you're being extremely strong and very, very smart to get to a lawyer to protect your assets.