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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: After the Fog-waywards memories( moving it here)
ifinallyfoundme
♀ Member
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somes I look into his eyes and I can see the second half of the pain of his actions. Memories of each act are starting to take on not so pleasant feelings. Were thoughts of oral sex with AP were once pleasant, now it's, I can't believe I put my mouth on that, or I could be a new parent heading into retirement. Couple that with my family knows all my shitz!
Anyone else at this phase?

Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I hear you. I too can see in my H's eyes that there are no "pleasant" memories. I asked him a question recently about the cheating and it occurred to me to ask him if that brought back memories of the actual act? He said no it didn't, he just feels guilt and shame. In his mind he said he sees a door in the apartment where it happened and the feeling he had of knowing it was wrong. It seems like this is part of the process WS's go through?
Such a painful journey for all of us.


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 489 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
ifinallyfoundme
♀ Member
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not excusing him for what he has done, but I've always told him if AP loved him so much, she would have waited just to help him avoid the pain that was sure to come his way if he continued. My H and I very much enjoyed doing a certain thing together and AP tried to steal it. Lately he has been very determined about reclaiming this thing. Until he was successful in reclaiming the special thing, he struggled. There is a pain waywards go through.

[This message edited by ifinallyfoundme at 1:05 PM, August 12th (Monday)]


Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seeing the pain in my RWH eyes brings on two feelings inside me.

1) I know deep down he hates what he did, hates himself more for being weak enough to do it, and it isn't going to happen again

2) we will eventually be ok.

I feel sorry for the people on here I know deep down inside wont be ok. The ones that don't get closure from their spouses, who don't feel the satisfaction of remorse or shame. My heart goes out to them.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
ifinallyfoundme
♀ Member
Member # 39523
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel sorry for the people on here I know deep down inside wont be ok. The ones that don't get closure from their spouses, who don't feel the satisfaction of remorse or shame. My heart goes out to them.

T


I agree totally.

Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too :(


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 489 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
Topic Posts: 6

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