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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: fWH bought us new rings
DoneWithLove
♀ Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 1:20 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Months before he proposed the first time, we got matching hematite rings out of a 25 machine. Both eventually broke, he proposed and I got an actual engagement ring (his mothers from a failed M, UGH).
Saturday, we went to the county fair. We were walking around looking at all the miscellaneous stuff, I didn't really want anything I didn't need.
We came across magnetic hematite rings. He asked me if I wanted one, I figured it would be a filler until he could give me a real engagement ring. He put his on right away and hasn't taken it off since. Then, automatically, put mine on my ring finger and proceeded to tell me that it was simply to keep my finger warm until he has a new ring and is ready to repropose.
I left it off yesterday when I took a shower so this morning when he noticed my bare finger, he went and found it, layed down with me, took my hand and asked me to marry him. Then he told me that this was not the official proposal, just him asking me to wear the ring until he could propose. I wasn't going to say yes until he told me that it wasn't the official ring or proposal but a promise to do things right this time around. He had an idea of wearing them on chains as necklaces. In his words, So when we kiss, our rings will pull and be magnetized to each other. I think that's his way of metaphorically speaking.
Idk were im at at this point and I still have some figuring out to do but that threw me for a loop and now idk if I should still leave. Should it even matter? I had a beautiful promise ring before, that I loved, that signified his fadelity and loyalty but that was pointless and obviously didn't resonate with him. Why should this one matter? So he can go and cheat again in 6 years. Im not getting my hopes up, this is just another hoax produced by a spineless man. The way I see it, the proof is in the pudding. The pudding says CONMAN.

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 1:23 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)]


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 5:21 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the proof is in the pudding

It is!!! Sit back and watch the work he is doing to make himself safe.


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2628 | Registered: Aug 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:25 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was a nice gesture. But that's all it was...unless...and until...there's action behind it. Is he doing the work? is he going to continue doing the work? Does he understand the gravity of what he has done? Is he in IC,working on changing whatever it was the told him he could cheat?

Watch his actions.


((((DWL))))

[This message edited by confused615 at 5:32 AM, August 13th (Tuesday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7679 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
DoneWithLove
♀ Member
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, he's done the work and started to coast but I talked to him and hopefully resolved the coasting. He's done good through all my hard times and as far as I know, TT has run dry. He is seemingly remorseful and has become selfless, I never thaught I'd see the day.
I believe he feels the gravity of his actions and has said time and time again that he doesn't know how I've done so well, that he never wants to go threw what he's put me threw and how he wouldn't have survived bein on the BS end but is glad I chose to R. I don't want to give him to much credit, he brought this whole mess on himself.
We are in MC and have talked about IC for both of us but haven't been able to fit it in yet. Hopefully when we move and school starts back up, it will free up our schedules a little.
As for finding the root, it was his upbringing and his thaught process, among other things... Basically, the negativity was all in his head and had nothing to do with anything I had ever done or was doing at the time of his A.
But yes, until I see the pudding has changed, its just a nice sentiment.
Thank you

[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 5:35 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
Topic Posts: 4

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