He's getting better at hearing me out when I'm having a "moment", and I've been able to finish a couple of meals (this is a HUGE improvement for me).
But... we've been joking around a lot. We've always spoken "sarcasm" to each other and having fun together has never been an issue for us. We can both have twisted senses of humor at times, but I think it's one of the things that drew us to each other. But is it appropriate right now? We have both "taken stabs" at the affair, and my first reaction (even when it's me doing it) is "It's too soon!". But then we share a laugh. Is that sick? Are we rug-sweeping? I mean, what is that?
I am still angry, still sad, still in disbelief. Still in the process of making sure NC is maintained, still wondering if I will ever trust him again. This was a terrible ordeal that has shattered my world - why is it so easy for me (us) to joke about it, and so soon after d-day.
Someone please tell me it's just a coping mechanism!
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."
It's perfectly okay to laugh at anything you find funny or humorous. Laughter is my medicine, truly.
IMO humor is not rugsweeping. It can be used to ease the pain. As long as the issues are dealt with I don't see a problem. Yep to me it is a good coping mechanism.
You said that you both take stabs at the A so it sounds to me that he realizes what an ass he was. You said that you still talk and that he's good when you're having a moment, that's not rug sweeping, that's open communication.
D-Day June 12th 2008, D-Day #2 Sept 28th
D-Day #3 Feb 15th & 16th 2010, D-Day #4 Nov 29th 2010
Laughter is probably better...
WH has started initiating "tickle fights" in the evenings also. Neither of us "like" to be tickled, but can't help ending up in fits of laughter. One of the things he had said to me pre-A was that he felt like we don't fool around enough, and that I'm not good at taking jokes. I don't know if I agree, but I probably do need to lighten up a little.
The laughter helps a lot, I just don't want him to think that just because I'm laughing means I'm "over it." I've told him - and he seems to understand - that that isn't happening any time soon.
Hope you guys can keep laughing. Kind of the goal in life, right? That and killing aliens. Fucking aliens.