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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dear Wasband - now you can play along at home!
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Evil  Posted: 12:56 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Back from DD's latest family therapy session. After the usual activities, DD left to grab breakfast, while wasband, the therapist (let's call her Lynn), and I talked.

As Lynn and I had previously discussed, I brought up the fact that DS had seen wasband's engagement post on FB via DD's login, and talked about how hurt and unimportant DS was feeling.
Wasband just stared at me, with a dumbfounded look on his face.

I said that as far as I could tell, DD had not noticed the post, but that she very easily could have seen it, and I was concerned about her finding out third-hand, as DS had.
Wasband = dumbfounded

Lynn took over, and mentioned that when DD talks to staff about the divorce, her biggest issue is that she feels like she didn't know it was coming and she felt left out and blindsided. She is still struggling with that.
Wasband = dumbfounded, but now staring at Lynn

Lynn and I keep looking at wasband, waiting for him to say something. Anything.
Wasband = dumbfounded

I could go on and on, but I think you get the drift.

After lots of prodding and pulling by Lynn, wasband finally spoke. And thus begins our play at home portion of today's show.

I'll provide you with some of wasband's more *intelligent* comments from today's session, and YOU, dear viewers, get to RESPOND to them Dear Wasband style for everyone's amusement. Sounds fun, right?

Ready? GO!

I guess I didnít think about that.

I guess I didnít consider whether DD might see it.

Well, DS and I arenít FB friends, so I didn't think he'd see it.

I donít know why that didnít occur to me.

That was not the best decision in hindsight.

Seems like that might have been short-sighted on my part.

Well, it hasnít seemed like a good time to tell DD.

DS and I havenít had many conversations lately, so the timing hasnít been right.

Iíve been out of town at the state fair and my phone died.

Bonus points awarded for anyone who can tell me HOW I MANAGED TO BE MARRIED TO THIS PERSON WITHOUT KILLING HIM IN HIS SLEEP.

Ahem.

Enjoy.

ps: On the whole, the session went better than I expected. No fireworks, no drama, separate sessions going forward, DD is cool with the separate sessions, Lynn is going to meet with wasband to PLAN how/when to tell DD the news, yada yada yada. All good.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25701 | Registered: Aug 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh, poor Wasband... Y'all ganged up on him and all, and either one of you alone could argue that he isn't even on the intelligence spectrum.

Do you think you short circuited his brain? He could not even say definitively that he made some bad choices. "I guess?" Way to own your shit, Wasband...


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have typed and re-typed about twenty responses.

Some of them nasty, some of them hilariously condescending.

Since I just responded to another thread about the importance of NOT name calling, I am absolutely positively at a loss for what to say here.

.
.
.
.

Nope - still at name calling, and none of them are PC. I will be back later when I feel less stabby for you.

Sonofagun.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - FranÁois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17793 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't play along today- dealing with my own Wasband bullshit.

I'm just here to say Wasbands suck. They are so self-consumed and egotistical that even Jesus would hold my earrings for me...


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He definitely isn't the brightest bunny in the forest.


Choices, Chances, Changes.....You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

Posts: 13805 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will be back later when I feel less stabby for you.

They are so self-consumed and egotistical that even Jesus would hold my earrings for me...

[This message edited by strongerdaybyday at 1:34 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2013
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are so self-consumed and egotistical that even Jesus would hold my earrings for me...

Please someone tell me that is already on the Quote Thread.

I also agree - how did you not off him in his sleep? What a horrible father to not even think about the impact of not including his kids....wtf?


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
chikastuff
♀ Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*facepalm*


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry NIK, I'm laughing so hard at lieshurt's response.

You didn't kill him in his sleep, because you have empathy toward the less fortunate. You give your used items to those less fortunate, she is welcomed to him.

It is very clear from his responses that he gave this engagement a LOT of thought. Both of them are so excited , it's all they can think about how it will make those that love them
So happy for them . They have planned their responses to everyone who will ask the happy couple how the children will feel.

I get his egotistical self not saying anything (I am willing to bet that you were the parent that handled the tough stuff with the kids and he followed your lead) he was waiting for you to notice AND continue to do his dirty work for him. He wants to be the good buddy parent only he can't think about anything that isn't whirling in his own vortex of shit that's swirling around him.

What I don't get is her going along with it? You said she treats your DD nicely. How do you become engaged to someone and NOT inform their kids? Or not even discuss telling the kids-aren't they supposed to be a couple? Hell now I'm wondering - does his fiancť know she's engaged ?

Hugs, NIK you didn't kill him because you're a saint!

[This message edited by Kajem at 1:59 PM, August 15th (Thursday)]


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5257 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RESPOND to them Dear Wasband style

At first I thought you meant "respond as Wasband would respond" and all I could think was "there's no stupid-empty-look-with-drool-coming-out-of-his-mouth smiley"

Then I realized you meant Dear Abby style (right? )

Dear Wasband,

Please stop hogging oxygen. You don't deserve it until you learn to use the brain it's supposed to be fueling.

Ama


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13797 | Registered: Jul 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes - for clarity's sake, I meant "Dear Wasband" style, as if you were responding to him as I do when I post his "gems" here.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25701 | Registered: Aug 2011
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I would like to tack this on to every one of his comments

"because I am a selfish fuck who can't see past my dick"

Sometimes there is just no responding to stupid.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17679 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are so self-consumed and egotistical that even Jesus would hold my earrings for me...

Please someone tell me that is already on the Quote Thread.

It is now.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25701 | Registered: Aug 2011
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, did he actually admit that he's betrothed/engaged/married/whatever?

Cuz unless I'm blinded by his verbal brilliance, I'm not seeing that here.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21068 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They are so self-consumed and egotistical that even Jesus would hold my earrings for me...
and I even think he'd hand you a ponytail holder to pull your hair back.....


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3387 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll take a stab at the bonus round:

Bonus points awarded for anyone who can tell me HOW I MANAGED TO BE MARRIED TO THIS PERSON WITHOUT KILLING HIM IN HIS SLEEP.

You thought: As tempting as that was, maybe, it just might impact DS and DD in a negative way...? Hmmm, better think on it first.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4129 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, did he actually admit that he's betrothed/engaged/married/whatever?

Cuz unless I'm blinded by his verbal brilliance, I'm not seeing that here.

He didn't deny it. He spoke words in response to statements regarding the engagement that indicated indirectly that the statements were factual in a non-binding and plausibly deniable manner.

So... yes?


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25701 | Registered: Aug 2011
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And how damn long was he at the State Fair?

It's simple. You walk in, pay your admittance, head over to see the cows, wave at them, get your picture taken. Done.

You walk over to the corn-on-the-cob stand, order a cob, hand over your $, eat your corn as you're walking to the beer tent. Done.

You walk up to the beer tent, order a beer and perhaps some nachos, hand over your $$, drink your beer, then eat your nachos. Done.

You swagger over to the midway. Hand over your $$$ to get your wristband for unlimited rides. You hit the Tilt-O-Whirl, the Ferris Wheel, the Tea Cups ride, the World's Biggest Slide, the House of Fun, try to win a bunny shooting a basketball through a too small hoop and, Bam. Done.

On your way out, you watch the pigs race for Oreos, walk out the damn gate and get in your car.

Two - four hours. Tops.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21068 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He spoke words in response to statements regarding the engagement that indicated indirectly that the statements were factual in a non-binding and plausibly deniable manner.

Ahhh...got it.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21068 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Clearly you've never been to THE State Fair, ajsmom. 'Cuz the IOWA State Fair? That's a week-long thing for fair-going folk. I mean, come on! You didn't even mention the butter cow. Or the deep fried butter on a stick.

And you're skipping the talent show? The giant turkey legs? The combine display???


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25701 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 46
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