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User Topic: venting!!!
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Angry  Posted: 10:39 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm finding stuff, and not confronting him yet. Here to vent so I can stay calm when I see him.

I found a call that he rejected while he was at work, and shouldn't have had his phone. It was from what is supposedly an adult toy store. It is in a neighboring city, and the only info I can find says it's an online store, but I can't find any kind of catalog or contact info. How do you run a business that way unless it's not actually a store. Maybe only by referrals of previous customers. I want to call the number so bad, but I need to wait. When I have enough evidence I'm making him do it in front of me.
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whatnow, down in ITips you can request that a member call the number for you and report back to you with the results. All by private message here, of course.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1753 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, NeverAgain. I might do that. Not sure if I can have that info and still be fairly calm, depending on who or what it is.


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, now that he's gone and I can dig deeper. This number came up on 2 different addresses in the same city, but quite a distance from each other. Both are in the same areas as escort businesses. The businesses have different phone numbers listed.
Back in 2010 I caught him looking up escorts, but he claimed that someone at work was talking about it and he was just curious. I never believed it.
I've got a nice little notebook going here. Just gonna keep giving him rope to hang himself. I can't believe how oddly calm I am despite being completely furious. Have I finally managed to detach and compartmentalize?


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, now that he's gone and I can dig deeper. This number came up on 2 different addresses in the same city, but quite a distance from each other. Both are in the same areas as escort businesses. The businesses have different phone numbers listed.
Thankfully he decided to do a home improvement project this weekend. So I have an excuse for why I'm not so pleasant.
Back in 2010 I caught him looking up escorts, but he claimed that someone at work was talking about it and he was just curious. I never believed it.
I've got a nice little notebook going here. Just gonna keep giving him rope to hang himself. I can't believe how oddly calm I am despite being completely furious. Maybe I've finally managed to detach and compartmentalize.

[This message edited by whatnow8 at 6:45 PM, August 16th (Friday)]


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
krazy8516
♀ Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, you're calmer than I would be!

I'm confused though - the escort service was calling him?


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Krazy, sadly, I've been dealing with this garbage for several years. I don't trust him, but haven't been able to prove anything. Every time I've suspected something or had circumstantial things that could be easily explained away I flipped out before I had anything concrete. This time is very different. I'm taking my time, and digging into as much as I can. Deep breaths.

Yup, the call was to his cell. Don't know if it was to confirm something or if it's someone he's a regular with. The number isn't the number listed for either escort service, but is in the area of both. Maybe she changed companies? One address is more current? Maybe she was calling to let him know she switched places. I don't have a subscription to any of the info services so what I have access to is limited.
I noticed he also called to check his voicemail twice that same day. Very few people have his number, and no friends or family called that day.


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
TheRealDeal
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((whatnow8)))

good for you for keeping composure in your hellish times.

I'm finding that keeping my calm - as much as possible anyway - helps gather more information.

just last night I asked a few questions to get clarification, kept very calm with his answers and have written them down in my journal. his answers directly conflict with a hand-written note I found from OW3. he doesn't know I saw the note, took a picture of the note and now have it stored for safekeeping.

had I immediately been pissed-off he would have shutdown but instead he unintentionally gave me more details than he thought and it's now added to list of evidence.

hard as hell. I feel like I'm in the wrong career, maybe I should have been a detective/PI


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 249 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TheRealDeal,
I'm so glad that I found SI. Just being able to come here to post is helping so much. I'm able to stay calm to focus and organize my thoughts before I act.

And I was just wondering this morning about a career in investigating. I've been irritated that I don't have any college and no marketable skills. Maybe I do after all. At least there's some kind of positive in this mess.


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
TheRealDeal
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes, I hear you whatnow8. SI is huge help for me. makes me feel less-crazy...at times anyway.


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 249 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
whatnow8
♀ Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just keeping my sanity all in one thread.

Yesterday I talked to someone I trust, had them witness the number, and write down all the info on the screen on his phone just in case he deletes it before I find anything more solid. Tired of him explaining things away or saying that he doesn't know the number and never saw it once my physical proof is gone, and telling me to let it go and move on already. Trying to start trusting my gut.


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 11

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