Topic: My Uncle passed away
Member # 39146
| Posted: 5:44 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013|
Last night, he's been fighting forever it feels like to stay alive. Nothing has been easy, My Aunt is unbelievable has been by his side has sacificed so much because of the love she has for him. He stayed longer than he should have because he didn't want to leave her.
Its beautiful and so sad. And its taking me down. Not only am I sad for the loss of my uncle, I am relived also. He struggled so much. The thing is I have had this feeling of nothingness and tears, a feeling of total loss and dispair , I feel like I am breaking that I am on an edge of the cliff and nothing there to stop me from going over. Its brought out all the wrong I have done to my family. It has made me so ashamed of myself and so sorry for the shame that my husband feels by having a wife like me. I am fighting so hard today to keep going to not shut down and give in the numbness, its comforting to feel nothing . Noone can hurt you. I have suffered so much loss over the last few years and these are people who I looked up too some dies naturally some took their own life. Its just bringing everything of my life forward today all at once and I can't breath. Its sufficating. My husband told me he is alone in this world except for our kids. I feel that today, he did call me when I text him which maybe is what the trigger is
Last year basically the same time my grandmother was in the hospital we didn't know whether she would make it oout. I had text my husband and only got a couple of text back . The Ap who was just EA at the time was more concern and supportive. That was I know a turning point for me and it stuck. I told my Husband about this shortly after Dday, so I can greatly appreciate his call this morning. But when I origionally told him, he said well you could have called me. I could have it would have been nice to know he new me and what I needed.
Just so many things. Are being brought forward. How sad my life has turned out to be. So much of because of my perspective and not being strong enough to get the help I had needed before. Once again thank you for having this place to talk . It has been a life saver for me.
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Posts: 387 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 30369
| Posted: 6:38 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013|
So sorry to hear about the loss of your Uncle, Joanh.
Posts: 6174 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 31528
| Posted: 6:40 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013|
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posts: 33793 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 36684
| Posted: 8:23 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013|
I'm sorry for your loss.
FWS me 36 (recovering addict)
BS him 39 AFrayedKnot
Together 7 years
"Your secrets keep you sick"
Posts: 1130 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
Member # 32753
| Posted: 10:41 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013|
Sending your family prayers, Joanh. I'm so sorry.
Find peace. Or sleep on it.
"Not my monkeys. Not my circus." ~Polish proverb (<~~~ as a codependent person, this comes in handy sometimes!)
Posts: 3880 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Member # 40239
| Posted: 12:11 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
So sorry for your loss! My grandmother passed last week and my BS was supportive of me as best she could in spite of her own feelings. It makes me appreciate her more that she could put aside her own feelings for me in that time.
Me: FWH 34
Her: 31 and deserving much better than I've given her (CCW82)
Married 4 years, together 6 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
"Don't give up. You're married until you're not. You never know what tomorrow will bring."
Posts: 121 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Dallas
|Topic Posts: 6|