I have not been on SI for a long time. I came tonight because it is my 29th wedding anniversary. He cheated on our 20th...
Nine years and we have survived. Why? Because my husband did the deed. He made amends, he had sorrow and guilt and showed it to me, made changes and still knew that no matter how many years, 1 or 9, he owed me love.
So tonight I came to SI and I see your post. It is so hard to have an anniversary after infidelity. He still loved me, I hated him and love him. He didn't understand it at all. I remember that the anniversary after he cheated on me. I hated every single thing about it. He failed. I felt like a wet rag.
Years, damn it took years, but finally I finally felt like I was his wife again. We remarried on our 25th anniversary. We survived, but only because I was a stone, steel and hard bich and demanded what I needed, and only because my husband was remorseful, tender to me, kind and made amends in so many ways over the years.
In the end, you can pretend, fake it until you make it, or you can stand up for yourself and demand that you get the care, tenderness and love that it takes to survive what he had done to you.
Sorry this is so long. Got a lot inside of me tonight.