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User Topic: OW emailed ME!
anewday78
♂ Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wouldn't it be tempting to respond with: "Dear [insert name], apparently I own your head too. After all this time why would you be writing me if it were any other case? So sorry about your loveless marriage and unfortunate divorce. Unfortunately, you don't own enough real estate in my husband's heart for him to care about any of your misfortune - no doubt another reason why you're 'reaching out' to me. You're right, you are a loser."

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

anewday78 -

OMG, I wish I could send that! It is perfect. Thank you! I am going to commit it to memory and when I start thinking about the email, I will recite your response to myself.


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
anewday78
♂ Member
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad I could help!

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did your husband take the opportunity to address the new 'revelations' in her letter? Were these things (like the airports and laptop)things that he hadn't already told you? Apart from a bland 'I'm sorry' did he actually have anything to say to you about it?


Changed, if it were me, after letting him read it there would have to be an in depth discussion about it. Don't let him off with just a bland 'I'm sorry' - that's not nearly enough. If this is the first time he's read anything from her that is not just blowing smoke up his &*&^ he will have had a reaction to reading it - and you do need to know what that was imo. He owes you that.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1882 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Cally60
♀ Member
Member # 23437
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the email is rather encouraging. Because to me it sounds like the angry ranting, and final desperate sword-thrusts, of someone who knows she has lost.

I agree that you should not give her the honor or satisfaction of a reply, but instead should simply leave her to stew and wonder whether you ever read it. But it definitely gives me the hope that this time, your husband's NC truly is for real.

[This message edited by Cally60 at 1:00 AM, August 19th (Monday)]


Posts: 2116 | Registered: Mar 2009
dayatatime
♀ Member
Member # 17090
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreeing with Cally.


BS 52
WH 55
son 13
ddays 9/27/07 and 9/1/10

Posts: 764 | Registered: Nov 2007
Ellephantastic
♀ Member
Member # 39833
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

omg!!!

Lawyer up girl then you'll show her how strong you are!!!!

Also sounds like her BH made a good escape!

she sounds like such a little bitch!!!


BS(me)
WBF = PA
Ow = 19(at the time)
WBF A = 08/10/2012-17/10/2012
D-Day = 24/01/2013

"It was easier for him to hurt me than it was for him to turn her down"


Posts: 80 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Scotland
MC_Jack
♂ Member
Member # 35016
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So you provide crickets...and rightfully so.

Your WH is/was the problem. Any anger or energy toward this pathetic AP is misdirected.


I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

Posts: 882 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Mountain West
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't reply to her, but I would damn sure send a copy to her BH. It sounded like they were still living together, even though he was divorcing her. He might be able to use it in the divorce. I would hope it would make him kick her to the curb where she belongs, but I am just revengeful like that. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
niaveone
♀ Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I love the idea of sending it to her BH. Might shut her up if she knows any more contact with you will result in him finding out more.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 17 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 255 | Registered: Aug 2013
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sinsofthefather - Most of what OW wrote in the email was not new to me. I had discovered most that information when I discovered that the A had been going on while I thought we were in R. But we have not really discussed much about the A in any depth. It really upsets me to hear it all so I have been guilty of avoiding any discussion on it as much as he has.

I do think I would like to discuss how the email made him feel besides hearing how shameful he feels.

I do know that WH is the problem and that I shouldn't be wasting energy hating OW but I'm just not at that point yet and I do not know when I will get there. I have a lot of anger and hatred towards her and I am OK with that for a while.

I did actually consider forwarding the email to her BH but then she will figure out that I probably read it and I didn't read much in it that could be used against her. But I have it saved just in case!


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
julesinpain
♀ Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Instead of playing the poor innocent victim and looking for blame elsewhere within your own relationship...why don't you look at yourself first???!!!

Hahaha This woman needs to take her own advice in her quote above!! She is giving you advice about your marriage, when she should be doing that exact thing for her own marriage instead of messing around with your husband!! Her email to you blows me away! The whole time I am reading it, I am thinking is this OW for real!! Talk about playing the poor me victim! All she talks about is how it is everyone else's fault and pretends she is the victim in your situation! She cheats with your husband, but then blames you for messing up her marriage and yours.

This woman obviously doesn't get how stupid she sounds in this email to you!

I am so beyond all the drama and the hurt this has caused. I am in a good place though actually. I am very strong.

If she was beyond the drama, she wouldn't be emailing you and crying for a pity party for herself! And as for her being a strong woman, another laugh!! This woman sounds very insecure to me! On top of that she has an incredible ice cold heart!! She is saying your husband ran to her or secretly called her (key word, she was a secret!!!!) I am sure every time he called her, she went with the poor you WH! Took his side on everything, built his ego up so much that he would go to her when feeling sorry for himself. And once again she would tell him what a great guy he is!!

Does she not understand her relationship started off with lies and deceit and isn't real life!! She pretends to herself that him calling her secretly from the airport, while deceiving his family somehow makes her so special! She did not have to cook, clean, or take care of his kids! She only got to play! She was his dirty secret!!

I am sure if your WH was to go live with her, he too would soon be calling her

extra baggage
just like her BS does!

This woman has an ice cold heart!! She thinks she is strong, but reeks of insecurity!!!

Although crickets are most likely best, it would be hard for me not to want to respond about her looking into her own mirror and taking her own advice that she has written to you!!!


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
Long Gone
♂ Member
Member # 32587
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lol....what a tool....

I have two words for that narcissitic bitch...

fuck off


D-Day 11/26/10

Posts: 772 | Registered: Jun 2011
Topic Posts: 33
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