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Newest Member: LostinBluseas (45054)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: what the hell to do
eyenight
♀ Member
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My guy friend and I have spent a lot of time together. Hes such a great guy. We have fun together. We took it a little far one night.
Hes told me he has lots of feeling for me. He shows me all the time how much he cares for me. But Im not there.
I think the thing that gets me most is the age gap and the amount of money he makes and the fact that he is moving soon.
Im just going through the motions.
But wow this is a real guy he will do anything for me. He even gave me the gas money to get my mom out of my house faster. He even offered to help me clean my place after my mom left.
He enjoys spending time with me. But I dont know.
I understand that guys have treated me like shit and this guy treats me wonderful. I am not used to it at all.

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jun 2013
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he's moving soon what are your options here?
A - you wait and see knowing an end is likely when he moves
B - you end it now
That's it.

He's clearly a KISA which is good short term but not generally long term.

Is there another question I'm missing?


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4560 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to sidestep the question about the friend and ask you a question -
I understand that guys have treated me like shit and this guy treats me wonderful. I am not used to it at all.
This is exactly the kind of thing IC can help you work through. Are you in counseling right now?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25504 | Registered: Aug 2011
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's clearly a KISA which is good short term but not generally long term.

I will disagree unless you are willing to understand that being a "KISA" doesn't mean that you actually need to save someone. Remember acts of service is a love language and this could just be his love language. Being with you and giving some gas money isn't necessarily a bad thing. If you expect all men that are helpful to be KISAs and run away from them then you'll most likely find yourself being with the ones that treat you shitty.

However if you are not feeling connected, I don't think that you can force that. I think that it would be best to end it and let him move on.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52319 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 4

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