[This message edited by asurvivor at 11:59 AM, August 17th (Saturday)]
Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.
Pink, all the way :)
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
[This message edited by Bombshell at 1:23 PM, August 17th (Saturday)]
realizing my wounds…no matter how I thought were healed, were still there. This was in fact hurting my relationships in everyday life as well as my initial attempt at well…dating.
Now I generally have a good opinion of men and women, i like people, and I keep my focus on the good ones, and i find many inspiring people around me.
There are several great men that post here in N B and I believe they get treated with a lot of respect and kindness when they post , even from the women that use harsh language to describe their bad dates. I think we vent here when we don't like our dating experience, but I hope you don't see it as criticism towards all men.
Glad you are posting.
Some issues are still there, but I have let the anger go and it made a tremendous difference in how I view people and especially women in general. I’m more who I was when I didn't feel the weight of the A on my shoulders and it made a tremendous difference in how people react to me.
asurvivor, I'm glad you've made this step forward in your healing. For myself, I think I was projecting both anger and hurt, and it took a long time to move past it. I think it was a visible field of misery surrounding me, kind of like the dust cloud that Pigpen always has around. I remember early on when I read that this healing process takes 2-5 years, I thought it was ridiculous. Now I know better (3 years divorced now).
I am the sum of my experiences. I will never go into a relationship with naivety again. I will never fight for attention from a man again nor give him multiple chances to "get it right". My marriage taught me hard lessons.
I had a great Father, I am raising a sweet boy, and I have seen great husbands/fathers married to family and friends. I will never think "all men" are scoundrels, but I know I am different than I used to be.
Less innocent. More wary. The right man will understand as I will understand what he has been through and tread accordingly.
For me, the first year was the "I hate all men" period. Fortunately, I hated them enough to not attempt to date. Once that lifted, I did meet a guy that slowly was let "in". He knew to move slow with me, and it worked. We didn't work out in the long run, but I am happy to know I am capable of loving agin.
Neither pink nor red. :) French manicure or HOT pink!
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings