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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Going Fucking Crazy
Thelastknight
♂ Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im going insane. My sister asked me if I was on drugs today. Im pissy, im ampt up and I cant control myself. Im not on drugs but my behavior is indicative of such recreation. OMG I need some relief
TLK


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
Thelastknight
♂ Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey TLK things will get better. deep breaths


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TLK - Vent it out. What's going on? What do you need relief from?


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22665 | Registered: Aug 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you do whatever your "therapy" is? Exercise? Mine is...unfortunately...retail therapy.

Talk to someone? Vent here?


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3615 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
AppleBlossom
♀ Member
Member # 38541
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you exercise? Doing something that makes you breathless ans sweaty (that is not between the sheets) can get rid of some of your excess energy and release a lot of endorphins. You will also feel the health benefits.

Posts: 154 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Australia
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have a particular place that gives you peace? For instance, out in the woods or out in a boat or something like that? I know when I was feeling crazy I would spend some time sitting by the lake or any wide open view and just let nature calm me down. My other method was to just scream and holler and swear and stomp around in my house. That was when I was still in marital home out in the middle of nowhere. Maybe you can drive somewhere out of the way and do the same in your car with the windows rolled up. Sometimes it just helps to get the emotion out.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 4661 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TLK))) I'm sorry you're having a hard time. The others are right, you gotta find something to get you out of your head- exercise, painting, reading, whatever works for you. Hang in there, this wave will pass.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is one thing you can do tomorrow that's different from what you've been doing? A place you can go? An activity or person you've been meaning to reconnect with? A project you meant to tackle?

Just one thing. One thing. Do one thing different tomorrow. That can make all the difference in the world.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8784 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EXERCISE!

Go get you some endogenous endorphins.


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1006 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Thelastknight
♂ Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been played in the string along game. God Im so glad I was smart enough not to get my kids involved in this relationship. However I feel betrayed that I was led to believe we were still feeling our way through assimilation with kids. She introduced me to her kids almost instantly and I had some mixed feeling about it. She met mine accidently, when she showed up at my place a couple hours early, but it was a small interaction.

Regardless, I believe she was hiding the new guy from me in hopes I could be a fall back plan. Im not impressed and find this shit insulting.

Further, we have been talking regularly for hours and she was saying how much she misses me and wants to be with me. I feel like sharing this shit with new guy.

However I just don't want the drama.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, think of it less as "drama" and more like "exposing the truth". She caused the drama, not you.

Then walk away.

I think a huge red flag is wanting to introduce kids early. To me, it looks like trying to rush a relationship, or force it without going through the proper "get to know you...are we a match?" steps. I dated a guy for 5 months and my kids never knew...one meeting at a park with a group was it. Children don't need the drama.

Im not impressed and find this shit insulting.

^^^exactly.

There are good, healthy, monogamous women out there!

Next.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3615 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Being played SUCKS DONKEY BALLS. Sounds like righteous indignation time! And that explains the amped up and the pissy and feeling out of control. You're not crazy, you're angry.

I vote for exposing her game to the other guy too...or just walk away while it explodes behind you...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 2825 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TLK I'm so sorry this happened but so glad you recognized who she is before your kids got involved. That is a win.

And you absolutely have every right to be angry!

But cmego is right here:

There are good, healthy, monogamous women out there!

Next.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NC = no new hurts applies here. So does "listen when they tell you who they are." You deserve better. NEXT.

There's a country song that applies here too (isn't there always ).

Done by the Band Perry

"I don't wanna be your "just for fun",
Don't wanna be under your thumb
All I wanna be is DONE"

[This message edited by kernel at 11:41 AM, August 18th (Sunday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 4661 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Thelastknight
♂ Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I woke up pissed am. I haven't been like this since DD almost 5 years ago. OMG I cant stand this shit.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 948 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

woke up pissed am. I haven't been like this since DD almost 5 years ago. OMG I cant stand this shit.


Regardless, I believe she was hiding the new guy from me in hopes I could be a fall back plan. Im not impressed and find this shit insulting.

Further, we have been talking regularly for hours and she was saying how much she misses me and wants to be with me. I feel like sharing this shit with new guy.

Just thought I'd give my two cents worth. Sounds like your nervous system is re-experiencing the trauma of the A.(PTSD-like). I truly believe the after effects can stay with us almost forever. Think that's why so many say they'll not date (even if it's just communicating with xWW/WS).

I feel better when I talk it out with safe friends, family, IC if you have one, and exercise, breathe, pray, whatever, and all of it. It has reinstated your "fight or flight". Our bodies's cells don't forget anything and it's a protective mechanism.

Just understanding this can help. Talk to yourself. And do what you need to protect yourself. Listen to your gut.

Hugs and more hugs.

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 10:02 AM, August 19th (Monday)]


Posts: 663 | Registered: Apr 2011
Topic Posts: 16

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