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User Topic: Free Kate
Rollercoaster
Member
Member # 1298
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, August 17th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay I'm asking for opinions because I'm hoping I'm not the only one who thinks this is absolutely ridiculous.

Go here. http://freekate.net/

Read the story. Tell me you don't think this girl should have been arrested because you KNOW if she had been an 18 year old BOY HE would have already been in jail!


Me BS 55, WS 55
Reconciled

Posts: 4059 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: California
LisaP
♀ Member
Member # 15088
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me this is a tough situation, even if it was a boy. They go to the same school. They are involved in the same activities. I honestly don't see a problem with it...boy or girl.

This is about parents who can not accept their daughters sexual orientation. Very sad for both students.


Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown


Posts: 2181 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Oregon
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad for both students.
I believe a boy/man would be in jail already in the same situation.
I don't know that the parents would have been any more accepting if it had been a boy.
The ages of 15 and 18 does sort of give the the oogies, regardless of gender.
I think the guidelines probably limit any worthwhile discussion of this case.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad for both students.
I believe a boy/man would be in jail already in the same situation.
I don't know that the parents would have been any more accepting if it had been a boy.
The ages of 15 and 18 does sort of give the the oogies, regardless of gender.
I think the guidelines probably limit any worthwhile discussion of this case.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Rollercoaster
Member
Member # 1298
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is about parents who can not accept their daughters sexual orientation.

I believe the girl Kate and her family WANT everyone to believe it is about the above but in truth it is about an adult taking advantage of a child. Kate was 18 and the girl was 14 at the time their dating and relationship began. That's child molestation. If "Kate" was "Keith", there would be NO question. Why is there in this case? Why the double standard?

[This message edited by Rollercoaster at 5:05 PM, August 18th (Sunday)]


Me BS 55, WS 55
Reconciled

Posts: 4059 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: California
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kate was in fact 17 when the girls became friends.

And not every 18 year old boy is arrested for having a relationship with a slightly younger girl, especially when they're both still in High School.

Because if that was the case, two of my boyfriends in HS should've been thrown in jail based on age.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24447 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If thats the case, then dont allow an 18 yr old to go to school with a 15 yr old

Do people forget an 18 yr old is a child entering adulthood?

I wouldnt be thrilled with my 15 yr old dd dating an 18 yr old nor my 18 yr old son dating a 15 yr old. I dont believe a 15 yr old should be dating period. But it has happened for Y E A R S! To say a senior in high school will go to jail for dating a freshman...the put the 9th grade back in junior high. You cant mix them and think nothing will happen.

[This message edited by sullymeishadomi at 7:13 PM, August 18th (Sunday)]


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not

Posts: 8212 | Registered: Sep 2007
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And not every 18 year old boy is arrested for having a relationship with a slightly younger girl, especially when they're both still in High School.

Because if that was the case, two of my boyfriends in HS should've been thrown in jail based on age.


It used to also be common once upon a time to marry girls off before puberty. We handle things a little differently now.

I agree that 9th grade should be moved back into Junior High. Don't forget not everyone graduates by 18. As it is now, we have 14 year olds going to the same school (and often involved in the same activities) with people who are old enough to vote, join the army, drink in Canada, be sentenced as adults, appear in pornography, get married in any state...

As I remember 14, it is a time to do foolish things and make mistakes in a relatively safe environment where one will not have to suffer long term consequences for inexperienced decisions.

ETA:
I remember back in High School (10 - 12 back then) one of the girls who never did much of anything, certainly never tried out her bad. She had a family that was really old fashioned and religious, to the point where her big aspirational item was a bible on a specific type of exotic paper. She turned 18, just before school finished, and suddenly she was attending graduation with her fiance, a 35 year old welder from her church. She was excited, the rest of us felt sorry for her, and disgusted by her parents whom we then rated as slightly below street pimps because it was their own daughter.

I say let kids screw up in safety without adult interference.

[This message edited by aesir at 10:12 PM, August 18th (Sunday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
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Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because if that was the case, two of my boyfriends in HS should've been thrown in jail based on age.

These days it's not unlikely they'd not only be in jail but in a national registry for the rest of their lives.

This situation should be treated the same as it would be if is was a boy and a girl simply because it shouldn't be important what their sexual orientation is. The law may be stupid but the law needs changed then, not selective application based on minority status. That kind of thing leads to very bad places.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7431 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, August 18th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the guidelines probably limit any worthwhile discussion of this case.

Are you talking about here? What guideline because we're all missing it.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197258 | Registered: May 2002
Dreamboat
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Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:30 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regardless of the genders, it is typically the parents of the younger HS student who pushes for legal action against the older HS student. And the laws are strange in most states. I recall an incident several years ago in my state where some HS kids were partying and a younger female gave a blow job to an older male. The older male was convicted of a felon and is now registered as a sex offender. However, if they had had intercourse instead, then it would have been a misdemeanor and he would not be registered as a sex offender. I mean, REALLY??!! Both are sex but somehow a BJ is worse than fucking? Huh....

So the moral of this story is to teach your kids that having sex in HS can lead to pregnancy AND arrest!

I told my DD a very long time ago that I had a 2-year rule with her while she was in HS. She could not date anyone who was more than 2 years older or younger than her. Period. Once she was 18 then she could date whoever she wished, but until then I felt that more than a 2 yr difference was too much.

[This message edited by Dreamboat at 12:31 AM, August 19th (Monday)]


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17606 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
tushnurse
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Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to say that even though we see this age gap in dating frequently it still doesn't make it right, smart, or even compatible. There is a ton of growing up that happens between 14-17. We had the same 2 year rule growing up, and have instilled the same things with my kids, and even with that small of a difference my son was asked out by a Jr his freshman year, and I be damned if she wasn't VERY experienced sexually, and my son was exposed to much more than I would have liked as a freshman.

I can also remember dating my H in high school a 2 year difference, and his parents warning him to be careful because he could get into legal trouble with me. So this isn't something new by any means.

So I would say Mom and Dad in Kates' case are focusing on the same sex issue, instead of the real issue and that is her daughter had an inappropriate relationship with someone much younger than her. The other girls parents are just attempting to protect their daughter just a little longer.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8218 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
circe
♀ Member
Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As in most things, I think it depends on the maturity level of the people involved. I dated a senior when I was a freshman in high school. It wasn't a big deal. I was mature for my age and he was immature for his, and we matched very well.

If it's consensual I think it only matters when the more mature student has power or control over the less mature student - and that would be the case even with a 2 year age difference (which most of us know can span a huge maturity difference).

In this case it's impossible to know the reality of it. The 3 year age gap tells us nothing much. The dynamic between the girls and whether the younger girl was coerced is the important part.

And I'd think nothing different if it were two boys, or a girl and a boy. A 3 year age gap can be completely appropriate between teens, and a 1 year age gap can be completely inappropriate - just depends on the dynamics and the motivation.

Personally I think it's ridiculous to charge a young person as a pedophile/criminal based ONLY on this particular span of ages. If there was more to the story I'd understand. But I haven't read anything reported that indicates criminal activity. I don't think the same sex nature of the relationship changes anything.


Posts: 3188 | Registered: Mar 2005
bluelady
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Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a January birthday. I was 15 for the entire first semester of Grade 10. A friend of mine, with a December birthday, didn't turn 16 until Grade 11.

I think it all depends on the laws of consent in that area. Here, it wouldn't be at all illegal for a 15 year old to have sexual relations with a person who is 18. If I remember correctly, teens aged 12-13 can legally consent to sexual activity with anyone up to two years older than them. Teens aged 14-15 can legally consent to sexual activity with anyone up to four years older than them. Teens 16 and above can legally consent to anyone of any age as long as that person does not hold a position of authority over them.

So, while *I* don't think there is anything squicky about the age difference, I don't think this girl would be jailed unless the laws of consent were against her.

I do find it unfortunate, though.


Me (BS): 33

Divorced


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
Topic Posts: 14

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