From filing: 4 years, 3 months, and 3 weeks.
Signed on August 5th, and filed with the county clerk on August 9th, which ironically and coincidentally was the 39th anniversary of the wedding.
Basically, I lost big time. It's almost punitive, the judge's decision. Like maybe she thought I was the cheater, or something. Over half my assets, half my inheritance, and 4 more years of alimony. And back alimony for the year I was unemployed and not paying.
Can I just take this moment to say "Fuck the courts!"
The order says that by putting my then-wife's name on the deed to my farm, it was a gift of my inheritance.
So, basically, I gave her a really, really big gift, and she then decided to go out and fuck other men. And when I called her on it, the court decided to fuck me.
But I can finally say I have an ex, not an stbx.
I've known this for a few days, but I needed to settle down a bit before I posted it for all y'all. You can only imagine the language I would have used Wednesday...
May I be among the first to say, congratulations on finally getting the damn thing done, even if it sucks out loud.
Onward, friend. Onward.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
What a bitter pill. You have my sympathy, and congrats on it being done.
If I never go to court again, it will be too soon.
[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 12:06 AM, August 18th (Sunday)]
[This message edited by gma56 at 12:19 AM, August 18th (Sunday)]
My dad died in the middle of this infidelity shitstorm....and I cannot even begin to describe the amount of brain damage that I've taken over the fact that anything I received from my dad was being put into a separate account with my name (only) on it and it was not going to be co-mingled in ANY way with marital business. At one point, stbx was declaring that HE was going to divorce ME if I deposited an 11K check from my father's estate into my own account. (end of story -- I deposited the check in my own account.......and *I* was the one that ended up filing for divorce).
You got screwed TH, because you are a good guy that tried to do the right thing and were taken advantage of. (which is why I am so cynical and pro-active about protecting assets)
The only good news about your situation is that it is finally over.
You are done with her now and can actually move on.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
A bad investment for sure. Like some kind of whorebag Ponzi scheme - that's how I see the sad clown, anyway.
The only thing that would suck worse would be still in that M. That's the only part you'll remember once the sting of the financial fuckery abates.
Its been 10 years and she is still paying that debt.
But, as she says, she is free. As are you.
TH, I'm glad that part is finally done. I know the outcome sucks, but hopefully she will move away one day, you won't need to see her anymore, and the alimony will end. Start to look forward TH. I know you have much in your life to be thankful for. She's just a squished bug on the wall now.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
If anything, your post should be a lesson to everyone about inheritances. My POS tried that tactic as well. In my state, any inheritance not uysed for the benefit of the marriage is excluded from the division of assets. When I presented POS with a detailed list of assets he quickly responded that I left off some very valuable items that I inherited that have never been used in any way to benefit the marriage. Once I educated him on how it works,he dropped it. This was a big lesson for me and I will never co-mingle inheritances (or any other finances) should I ever get in another relationship. These life lessons sure suck though!
Onward with your new, and better, life!
[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 1:52 PM, August 18th (Sunday)]
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
Agreed that the courts suck.
Best wishes as you figure out what the next steps in your new beginning are. At least the ball and chain is no longer dragging you down. (((TH)))
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson