Topic: Staying so the OW can't "win"
♀ New Member
Member # 39792
| Posted: 11:47 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013|
If there are kids and joint custody and the OP becomes the new spouse of the WS, then the OP becomes a stepparent of your kids.
BW 41 WH 47 LTA/LD: EA 9 yrs / PA 14 days; 4 Kids: 7,5,2,2 OW: XGF 45 DDAY: 10-8-12 Broke NC 4 times, no known OW response.Began R 7/19/13
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker. - Rounders
Posts: 32 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: United States
Member # 28753
| Posted: 10:28 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013|
If there are kids... then the OP becomes a stepparent of your kids.
That was my driving force behind trying actual R for over a year after the end of false R. The COW didn't think a thing of putting her biological kid in harm's way to satisfy her urges; I was sure as hell not going to allow her access to my babies so she could mess them up, too! It worked... she has never been in the same zip code as my children, as far as I know.
BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.
Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
♀ New Member
Member # 39855
| Posted: 7:39 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
This slightly reminds me of that beyonce song "ring the alarm"http://youtu.be/eY_mrU8MPfI
Together 6 years.
Ow: 18 at the time. Our son's "God sister"
Doomsday: November 2nd 2012. A couple of days before our sons birthday
Posts: 26 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 39670
| Posted: 8:53 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013|
I feel the opposite. I feel they both "won" because no one lost anything, she stayed married to her BH, he stayed married to me, they keep their jobs. I'm the only loser in R. I often dream of divorce just to show them the true damage caused. She knows my children, knew what a great family we were, I know her well enough to know that she would feel like complete crap if their A broke up our marraige/family. They were the "it won't hurt anyone if they don't know" types...no emotions in their A, just lust. Her life has gone on just fine and dandy, no big deal, if we were to D it would be a dose of reality which she sorely needs.
But I will not let her dictate my R or D. It's simply not about her (as much as I obsess from time to time, ha).
Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (48) 10 years, together 15
D-Day #2 9.6.13 Broken NC/TT
D-Day #3 10.23.13 "Full Disclosure"
WH having PA with MW coworker 3.13-6.13
Posts: 618 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 40264
| Posted: 1:56 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013|
It's simply not about her (as much as I obsess from time to time, ha).
You and me both!
Me-BW Him - WH both in our 30's
Married 6 years, together 13
D-Day July 2013
Separated and reconciliation seems stupid and impossible right now.
Posts: 199 | Registered: Aug 2013
|Topic Posts: 25|