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Newest Member: tryingtolove (44683)

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User Topic: Staying so the OW can't "win"
EtTuBrute
♀ New Member
Member # 39792
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there are kids and joint custody and the OP becomes the new spouse of the WS, then the OP becomes a stepparent of your kids.


BW 41 WH 47 LTA/LD: EA 9 yrs / PA 14 days; 4 Kids: 7,5,2,2 OW: XGF 45 DDAY: 10-8-12 Broke NC 4 times, no known OW response.Began R 7/19/13
If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker. - Rounders

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: United States
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there are kids... then the OP becomes a stepparent of your kids.

That was my driving force behind trying actual R for over a year after the end of false R. The COW didn't think a thing of putting her biological kid in harm's way to satisfy her urges; I was sure as hell not going to allow her access to my babies so she could mess them up, too! It worked... she has never been in the same zip code as my children, as far as I know.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
90Worthless90
♀ New Member
Member # 39855
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This slightly reminds me of that beyonce song "ring the alarm"http://youtu.be/eY_mrU8MPfI


Me: 23

Him: 29

Together 6 years.

DS: 2yrs

Ow: 18 at the time. Our son's "God sister"

Doomsday: November 2nd 2012. A couple of days before our sons birthday


Posts: 28 | Registered: Jul 2013
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel the opposite. I feel they both "won" because no one lost anything, she stayed married to her BH, he stayed married to me, they keep their jobs. I'm the only loser in R. I often dream of divorce just to show them the true damage caused. She knows my children, knew what a great family we were, I know her well enough to know that she would feel like complete crap if their A broke up our marraige/family. They were the "it won't hurt anyone if they don't know" types...no emotions in their A, just lust. Her life has gone on just fine and dandy, no big deal, if we were to D it would be a dose of reality which she sorely needs.

But I will not let her dictate my R or D. It's simply not about her (as much as I obsess from time to time, ha).


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's simply not about her (as much as I obsess from time to time, ha).

You and me both!


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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