Why the f*** is this bothering me? Why the f*** do I want to go back and park down the street to see who sheit is visiting? Why the f*** do I feel the need to hide out in my house just to avoid the possibility of running into sheit? Why the f***, after everything sheit has done to me and after every lie sheit has told about me, do I allow sheit to be anything more than a footnote in my life story? Why the f*** am I having a mini anxiety attack just from seeing sheit’s car? Why the f*** didn’t I buy some Ben and Jerry’s Toffee Coffee Crunch while I was at the store so I could drown my anguish. Why the f*** do I impose limits on the number of curse words I use.
Good golly Miss Molly, it’s going to be a long night at work if this doesn’t pass.
Your post sounds like maybe you have anger right now and have to find a way to work through it. I hope it's okay to say that.
Anger is also energy and I understand and have also tried to do some active things -exercise type-when it comes.
Anger also sometimes makes us impulsive and I know how you feel. I have to hear Nearly Exh's car drive off to Floozy land every couple days after his visit to DD. It used to make me ache and now makes me gag.
I know what you mean about the eating under stress, I do it too but don't have good judgment when the anger or stress comes with food.
I hope that you'll get through this spell soon and hope your niece won't see the car. The one thing Nearly Exh did was choose an OW who lives hours away. I hear stories like yours from friends who are fellow BS's who have similar situations as you do.
One has the OW show up at her door, yard and neighborhood, without sign of remorse. Just kind of parades around.
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
But Ben and Jerry's is sooooo good.
I am so self-centered at times, I actually make myself believe that my niece would even recognize sheit's car.
The thing that makes today tough is that, from what I heard, sheit lives about 10 miles via two different freeways away and, if I ever have to be near where I last heard she was staying, I can be emotionally prepared.
Just to be clear, I am hiding out in my house until it is time for me to go to work and I will not be going anywhere near the store today.
Just remember, if you ever need someone to whack you on the nose and say "NO!", I'm your girl.
Hang in there, I'm so sorry you are separated from your pals B & J.....
If I were nearby, I'd straighten out the B&J supply chain issues for you. Instead, I'm chuffing you on the shoulder from afar.
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in." -Cohen
One of the things I have been overthinking ( me overthink?) is whether my not worrying about sheit nor her life is because I have had zero contact for so long. I worry that I have not healed as much as I thought. To use a strange analogy: It is easy to maintain celibacy if you are cloistered in a monastery.
WB, I have broken two rubberbands snapping my wrist since yesterday so no nose whacking is neccessary. Given how I felt yesterday, you are a much stronger person than I am for living that close to the trash dump.
Silver, I have managed to avoid Ben and Jerrys so I think the immediate meltdown threat has passed.
DMW, sometimes hanging in there means not talking to friends who want to lead you down the primrose path of Coffee Toffee Crunch and Chocolate Therapy.
Empress, you bruised my shoulder, thank you.
I got to wake up this morning so I am lucky and it proves that, although it felt like it yesterday, seeing sheit's car is not the end of my world.
Slight t/j: It seems that rubber bands used to have more staying power, I have been through two and my wrist isn't even red.
If I had not moved away so quickly, perhaps I could have 'innoculated' myself by exposing my psyche to their presence and over time build up an immunity. Hindsight...
Don't sweat it; it's just a reaction. Now that it's identified, it can be dealt with. I have faith...
SAz, is it OK that I want sheit to move thousands of miles away? I have tried a combination of innoculation and cold turkey, I hope this is just a momentary relapse and I can get back to normalcy. Thank you for your faith.
Given the title of your thread, I was wondering what would be under general regarding mushrooms.
Stay strong. This too shall pass.
I'm sorry that after all this time you have to be whisked back to all that garbage. I hope that since it's been a week you've already forgotten about it.
Except for the fact that I'm drudging it back up now.
Hopefully she has no more business in your neighborhood and can keep to her own empty, lame existence.
Well, the next round of ice cream is on me. Hugs, friend.
ETS - Whoops, no hugs! I mean fist-bump of solidarity.
[This message edited by Jrazz at 2:15 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot